i dont want to be alive

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killhatori
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Joined: April 10th, 2019, 1:59 am
Location: on earth

i dont want to be alive

Post by killhatori » April 10th, 2019, 2:58 am

hello everyone. i dont really talk on the internet or online a lot but here i am (/*u*)/ i dont know how long ill last so i want to post something here.

i went to highschool and finished okay. no matter how hard i tried, i could not get my grades up high because i had to miss school so much. i am an embarrasment. my other family members are extremely gifted but i cannot do any of that. sometimes id stay home just to escape from the normalfags.
i started missing a lot of school because i have anxiety. my parents payed for my college, but i dropped out because i couldnt make it. its hard for me to crawl out of bed even. i shake so much and puke thinking about how much i missing and how much i am failing, they are angry at me for dropping and and wasting their money. i am such a fuсking waste of skin. keeping a job is impossible because of my anxiety attacks. i was working at a shopmart and the alpha fuсking chad yelled at me for it. i want to kill myself. i had another attack and he just left me there i wish i had died.
i never had any friends except for some assfags in elementary shcool but they just wanted to steal my pokemon cards. i know they all made fun of me behind my back. i got bullied in middle school and thats when i finally knew id never be happy. they locked me in the locker room with only my towel and i cried like a baby. i dont deserve to be happy. i wasnt built for it.
i dont know what the fuck to write anymore. i stay a home mostly and draw but everything i draw looks like ѕhit. i moved out so my parents wouldnt have to look at me anymore. i went out last night to get some takeout but everyone was staring at me because i was disgusting. my rent is $400 a month for a single room and i cant even make ends meet. if i was born just to shake and puke and have everyone hate me, then why was i born?
(T-T) hahahaha
thats all i have to say. i dont know how to end this. i had a girlfriend once, for a week but she left me. i tried to be good. i dont hate her. i wouldnt want to date me either, even if i was nice. 人(_ _*)

i havent killed myself yet because a) i am a pusѕy and b) my mom might be sad, but im waiting for them to be far enough for it not to hurt as bad.
yukkiri itte shite ne
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tremor
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Joined: January 13th, 2019, 10:04 pm

Re: i dont want to be alive

Post by tremor » April 10th, 2019, 3:33 am

Don't kys, better copes await and you will die one day anyway.

Also if your only problem is just the anxiety thing and nothing related to actual health, you could try to fix it. Most likely you won't though, you aren't even asking ѕhit about it in OP post.
Every woman adores a Fascist
The boot in the face, the brute
Brute heart of a brute like you
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Lordgoro
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Posts: 232
Joined: March 19th, 2019, 10:26 pm
Location: Portland Oregon

Re: i dont want to be alive

Post by Lordgoro » April 10th, 2019, 3:41 am

Death comes quite SOON enough on its own... NO need to hurry it up... Find a PASSION, something you love.. Mine is video games(single player offline ONLY) and REAL GEMSTONES!!! I collect rubies, emeralds, sapphires, topaz, etc.. They bring me personal joy, even if Im always ALONE!! Find whatever works for you... Death will find you soon enough trust me..
"You're waiting to hear about my THEM aren't you? Every paranoid/schizophrenic has one of THEM,or THEY, an IT? and, you want to hear about MY THEM, don't you?"
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lordoftheincels
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Joined: August 23rd, 2018, 6:58 pm

Re: i dont want to be alive

Post by lordoftheincels » April 10th, 2019, 12:44 pm

Panic attacks is due to low T. Try boosting T and see what happens. T makes you ugly and horny but you said you were already ugly so Idk. Pros and cons. Also T might cause panic attacks so idk.

Think what you need is a kind and loyal woman, but you're incel so its back to square one. Maybe pot is what you need.
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