Am I an incel? (Sorry for the wall of text)

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Whatshappeningtome25
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Am I an incel? (Sorry for the wall of text)

Post by Whatshappeningtome25 » March 6th, 2019, 10:26 am

Hey guys, it’s my story. I am a 25 years old guy. Please forgive me if there is any error... English is not my first language.

I used to know this girl pretty well. She lived a bit far from me. Since we were kids, we used to play together whenever she came to my house, or I would go to her house. One day, I think I was 16-17 at the time, we were just talking about stuff at her house. She was talking about how one of her classmates had gotten a girl pregnant, and I was not believing her. I was really stupid at the time, and getting pregnant was a thing I always associated with ‘adults’. I asked her what her classmate was thinking in the first place to do something like that with a boy at that age. She told me her friend made a mistake and every girl in school now hates that boy, and he’s in the process of getting suspended etc etc. Then I told her that something like that would never happen to me, as every girl already hates me anyway as I am ugly and boring. Then she told me “No girl would ever hate you”... and I was like “huh?”
After a while it was my time to go home and I was on my way on the street. But I remembered that I left my umbrella or something on her house. So I returned and picked that up. Just when I was wearing my shoes to leave, she comes to me out of the blue, kissed me on the lips and stood there looking at me. I was completely baffled and shaking. I never, ever even dreamed of something like this to happen. I heard her mom coming from inside the house, so I told her “See you tomorrow” and left.

Next day, I went to her house again. The first thing she did when she saw me was hold me and pressed her body on mine and kissed my cheek. That was the first time I ‘felt’ a girl’s body. She was good to me from then on. I still don’t have any explanation for this as looks-wise, I may be a 2-3 and definitely not a chad. I am a very quiet and shy person, with no friends, but can open up with people who share same interests. I like science and took my studies very seriously, so girls were not at my mind back then. Her family moved out, and it kinda ended there.

Fast forward to 2017, I was interested in Korean dramas. I watched the series ‘Goblin’ and liked it very much. I joined a FB fan group based on that tv series. I made a comment somewhere on that page, and a girl pm’ed me the following day to say she found it very funny. She lived in a different country, which was really far from me. We chatted casually for a week or so, she sent me pics of her house and whatever she was doing on that moment etc. I was not using my actual pic on FB, because of how ugly I look irl. It took me 5 months to send her my actual pic, because of how insecure I feel about my looks.

Whatever, she fell in love with me very deeply. She’s into volleyball in her college and made a jersey with my name on the back, which really startled me when she sent me the pic wearing that. I knew from the start that it won’t reach a good conclusion, as she’s really far, but by that time she was so deeply in love that if I ghosted her she would do something harmful to herself. So I took it easy. It lasted 18 months. I had to end it, I could never reach her as my financial condition was not good. It still hurt her a lot I think, as she said she would block me to forget about this, and she did.

I REGRET THIS SO FUCKING MUCH!

It’s really great to have someone pm you “good morning” everyday, and to just have a chat about anything.

Whatever, my point is... both these girls knew my personality from the start. The first one knew me since we were kids, and the second one knew my personality before she saw me (though I don’t know if I can call a girl my gf to whom I have only talked over the internet) . I am pretty confident that they wouldn’t even talk to me if they saw me first and didn't know anything about me. I don’t know how to approach girls in real life. I’ve never approached one. I don’t understand social cues. I have low emotional intelligence. I don’t know if I will ever get a gf again or not. Have never had sex. I have a very obsessive personality and can’t stop thinking about things for a long time. I have seen people getting rejected, and the first rejection I would get would destroy my mind. It will mainly hamper my studies. I relate to incels a lot nowadays.

So my question is do I fall in incel category? If not, what category do I fall in, as I am not well acquainted with all the terms. Thanks for reading. Sorry for the wall of text.
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tremor
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Joined: January 13th, 2019, 10:04 pm

Re: Am I an incel? (Sorry for the wall of text)

Post by tremor » March 6th, 2019, 3:41 pm

Two approaches is nothing tbhtbh, not even a single soul in this entire world cares about your shyness. Only Chad can get away with shyness, but he seldom develops such a trait.

However, guys like you are usually accepted. Just don't tell us bs about """""""ascension""""""" when you start betabuxing a whale upon graduation.
Every woman adores a Fascist
The boot in the face, the brute
Brute heart of a brute like you
Whatshappeningtome25
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Posts: 17
Joined: March 1st, 2019, 4:23 am

Re: Am I an incel? (Sorry for the wall of text)

Post by Whatshappeningtome25 » March 6th, 2019, 6:43 pm

tremor wrote:
March 6th, 2019, 3:41 pm
Just don't tell us bs about """""""ascension""""""" when you start betabuxing a whale upon graduation.
LOL
I just literally looked up the Alpha fux, beta bux thing. No fucking way I am gonna beta bux for any woman even if it means I have to stay single for the rest of my life. Jesus, that shit really made sense. I am thinking of going mgtow. I just wish there was some brain operations that would stop this desire to be with a woman. Probably I would then be happy.
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