My Horrible Life

Tales from around the globe
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frecklearms72
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Posts: 25
Joined: January 23rd, 2019, 1:49 am

My Horrible Life

Post by frecklearms72 » January 23rd, 2019, 7:36 pm

Hi everyone. As you can tell that is a throwaway account bc I am very embarrassed about what I'm gonna talk about in this post and I don't want this to be related to any of my other accounts on here.

To start things off I am in my mid 40's and live in southern Colorado. I am a virgin, but not by choice. I want to have a relationship with a woman that I find attractive but I do find myself getting real shy around beautiful women.

As far as my background on my life. I have suffered from several severe mental problems (I have manic bi-polar disorder, depression, schizophrenia, torettes, obsessive compulsive disorder and recently diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder) as well as attention deficit disorder and I do suffer from short term memory loss. The reasons why for me having most of these mental disorders is from the both physical and mental abuse I took from both my father and from boys and girls for the entire time that I was in school. Because of my learning problems, I am on disability and food stamps. I also have to live with my mom because of me never able to keep a job long enough to save up any money to get my own place and also that I'm not sure if I could take care of myself if I ever did live alone.



I have never been on a date. I have never been able to kiss a woman in a sexual or loving way. I was always considered a nerd during the time I was in school.



I wanted to post this part to show people that read this what kind of life I had to go through in school as far as being with girls. One time when I was 13 (8th grade) there was this Hispanic girl that I thought was cute, not sexy or hot looking, but cute. One night she calls me and says that she wants to go out on a date with me. I was pretty excited. So we set up a place to meet. I waited there for her for over two hours and she never showed up. Then the next day she decides to humiliate me future by do a fake cry wondering why I wasn't there to meet her. In the background I could hear several girls laughing at what the girl was saying to me.

What's worse is that I'm starting to lose my hair. And I don't really believe that any woman would come up to me and want to talk because with my scitzophrenia, I talk to an imaginary voice inside my head out loud. Not to where people can hear what I say, but they can see my lips moving and I am always making hand gestures. I have no control at all to stop it. And my shrink believes that my case is not that bad. I am thinking of getting a second opinion, but I think they will say the same thing.



For the past several years I have pretty much given up on ever having a relationship with a woman or even having sex.
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tremor
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Joined: January 13th, 2019, 10:04 pm

Re: My Horrible Life

Post by tremor » January 23rd, 2019, 7:50 pm

It's pretty much over for legit mentalcels, regardless of age. Only recently they started to point out the importance of being neurotypical. When bluepilled copers say "just be confident", they think it's a good advice because to them it's the same. In real world it's impossible to always be confident, but who cares, nothing can save incels.

Well, I guess you should find some decent cope, if you don't have any. There should be something out there for you. It'll help you distract yourself from counterproductive thoughts and focus on more cheerful things and the qualities of not having to care about anyone, seeing that nobody really cares about you. It's brutal, but that'a how it is.
Every woman adores a Fascist
The boot in the face, the brute
Brute heart of a brute like you
frecklearms72
Member
Posts: 25
Joined: January 23rd, 2019, 1:49 am

Re: My Horrible Life

Post by frecklearms72 » January 23rd, 2019, 8:13 pm

tremor wrote:
January 23rd, 2019, 7:50 pm
It's pretty much over for legit mentalcels, regardless of age. Only recently they started to point out the importance of being neurotypical. When bluepilled copers say "just be confident", they think it's a good advice because to them it's the same. In real world it's impossible to always be confident, but who cares, nothing can save incels.

Well, I guess you should find some decent cope, if you don't have any. There should be something out there for you. It'll help you distract yourself from counterproductive thoughts and focus on more cheerful things and the qualities of not having to care about anyone, seeing that nobody really cares about you. It's brutal, but that'a how it is.
I hate to say this, but I do agree with you
HollowLifeJR
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Posts: 18
Joined: February 3rd, 2019, 3:45 pm

Re: My Horrible Life

Post by HollowLifeJR » February 3rd, 2019, 6:44 pm

I was good looking when I was younger, athletic build, muscles, very sexually able; but still, almost no woman ever--even at my best--ever even approached me. Your situation would seem extremely dire in this regard. I'm just saying that some problems can be universal. Even holding a job. I consider myself a very interesting person if I am able to project and express myself, but I simply cannot in the social confines of the workplace. I have not been well liked there because I hate horseshit small talk, and being expected to smirk and giggle at 8:00 AM to fit in. It's been a real problem for me, and of course for you. Don't feel completely singled out on some of these things.
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