When did you lose hope?

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StoicNihilist
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When did you lose hope?

Post by StoicNihilist » March 15th, 2019, 12:42 am

I have such vivid memories of the hope, bliss, and wonder I felt during childhood. It wasn't the best, I was bullied a bit at school. I also came from a poor family that went through a hellish divorce. But the most important thing I had was hope. I would play with my friends on the playground and out in the woods. Looking up and smiling at the beautiful sun rays in the trees, going to the beach and feeling the warm sand between my toes and looking with awe at the ocean. Going on magical adventures with my buddies, pretending to be knights and wizards, or with our nerfguns pretending to be special ops soldiers. The world was my oyster. Anything and everything was possible, you just had to believe, and have hope.

But as I matured into adulthood I slowly but surely lost that hope. Every last bit of it. Getting beaten and brain damaged. Realizing how ugly I am. Homelessness. Abandonment. Social isolation. And realizing what a terrible place the world can be (war, poverty, famine, rape, murder, ect. ). All of my life experiences destroyed my faith in humanity, and destroyed my faith in myself. Now here I am in my mid twenties: a cold, empty shell of a man who doesn't care about anything.

What made you guys lose hope? And around what age? What events in your life led up to you eventually swallowing the Blackpill?
WelcomeToMyDNA
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Re: When did you lose hope?

Post by WelcomeToMyDNA » March 15th, 2019, 2:25 am

I'm in the process of losing hope right now. 23. Ugly as shit. No social skills. Fucked up life. Don't know how to drive. Lonely and stuck inside this wall of isolation. Memories of women I adore stuck in my head. Hopeless existence. I hate who I am.
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StoicNihilist
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Re: When did you lose hope?

Post by StoicNihilist » March 15th, 2019, 2:49 am

WelcomeToMyDNA wrote:
March 15th, 2019, 2:25 am
I'm in the process of losing hope right now. 23. Ugly as shit. No social skills. Fucked up life. Don't know how to drive. Lonely and stuck inside this wall of isolation. Memories of women I adore stuck in my head. Hopeless existence. I hate who I am.
I know that nihilism sounds depressing to most, but it is comforting to me. Whenever something in my life gets me feeling really down, or angry, I just remember "Oh yeah, none of this matters in the end. These events are just small, fleeting moments that mean nothing to the universe at large." And I feel a small bit of weight come off my shoulders.
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albie
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Re: When did you lose hope?

Post by albie » March 15th, 2019, 12:16 pm

I think being bullied by a kid when I was maybe 15. I started bunking off school. Then I started carrying a cut throat razor with the intention of killing the bully if he started on me(he never did again) and got into serial killers.
Then my body got fucked up from being over weight. Started hating people at school. I hated myself too. Soon I started making plans for suicide. Started going mad. All this happened between 15 and 18.
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vcelguy
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Re: When did you lose hope?

Post by vcelguy » March 15th, 2019, 12:34 pm

albie wrote:
March 15th, 2019, 12:16 pm
Started going mad. All this happened between 15 and 18.
You're certified psycho...
Contact me:
MaxCady
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Re: When did you lose hope?

Post by MaxCady » March 15th, 2019, 1:11 pm

I was rarely bullied as a young kid, but my worst years for shunning and bullying were 16-21; my college and university days (I dropped out of the latter). I started bunking off halfway through my first year at uni, unable to get up, unable to find the motivation and zest for life I once had. I just didn't make the cut when it came to bone development and having a face that gets respected rather than laughed at. I was a laughing stock. I became full of anger. My whole bone structure and face was on the infantile spectrum; weak and nerdy, underdeveloped, lacking secondary development. I got online at 23, I had filled out a bit from 130lbs at 21 to 156lbs at 23, it gave me a bit of confidence, I certainly did look better at 23 than say 20, so I had one last pop at meeting girls, but by 25 I had swallowed the black pill, still a virgin that couldn't even get the skinny 4/10 > 5/10 girls to reply back to me, and then seeing the brutal indoctrination of using fake pictures of Chads/C-lites back in 2003 and seeing how easy they have it, I knew it was over.

I was born to either fuck fat butch pig women and accept my place or be incel. I chose the latter. I can only be with slim/normal women, I'm a normal weight guy, my ambition stifled by bone development (and latter hair receding) that isn't acceptable to average women. I wish I was born and bred in Thailand as I wouldn't have a problem getting laid there with a thin average woman.
"YOUR GONNA LEARN ABOUT LOSS." Maxy Cady, Cape Fear, 1991.

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lordoftheincels
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Re: When did you lose hope?

Post by lordoftheincels » Yesterday, 4:05 pm

StoicNihilist wrote:
March 15th, 2019, 12:42 am
I have such vivid memories of the hope, bliss, and wonder I felt during childhood. It wasn't the best, I was bullied a bit at school. I also came from a poor family that went through a hellish divorce. But the most important thing I had was hope. I would play with my friends on the playground and out in the woods. Looking up and smiling at the beautiful sun rays in the trees, going to the beach and feeling the warm sand between my toes and looking with awe at the ocean. Going on magical adventures with my buddies, pretending to be knights and wizards, or with our nerfguns pretending to be special ops soldiers. The world was my oyster. Anything and everything was possible, you just had to believe, and have hope.

But as I matured into adulthood I slowly but surely lost that hope. Every last bit of it. Getting beaten and brain damaged. Realizing how ugly I am. Homelessness. Abandonment. Social isolation. And realizing what a terrible place the world can be (war, poverty, famine, rape, murder, ect. ). All of my life experiences destroyed my faith in humanity, and destroyed my faith in myself. Now here I am in my mid twenties: a cold, empty shell of a man who doesn't care about anything.

What made you guys lose hope? And around what age? What events in your life led up to you eventually swallowing the Blackpill?
Same I can relate.

I used to be a bigger empath than anyone else. Then after puberty felt my mirror neurons going down the tubes. Didn't go fully down the tubes till I was stuck in incel-land. Without mirror-neurons its hard for me to relate to people or enjoy movies. They all seem like simple minded animals with meaningless lives. There is hardly and joy or love left in my heart, thanks to this cruel world of women, and men who are assholes.

I was born the biggest empath. Yet now I am the person who sees a tragedy scene in a movie and gets mad at them and wanting to beat them senseless for being weak and emotional. Whenever I see a female crying in a movie I just get a primordial urge to slap her in the face as hard as humanly possible. What kind of cruel world turns people into monsters like that.
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