Basically went to a bar one time feeling incel. On another table was a bunch of lesbians kissing. Made me feel bitter and jealous. Looking at my reflection on the glass window looking at how I'm an evolved Raichu instead of a cute pikachu. Feeling incel and bitter, hating all the happy people at the bar. Alpha as fuck and the waitress starts flirting with me.
The waitress was a bit older than me and not bad looking. Yet I didn't feel any attraction tbh. A month later I said I would get the courage to go talk to her again. Yet she quit her job and don't work there anymore. Can't find her even on facebook.
This happened last year and it feels like that was my one chance to escape incel and I blew it. I hate myself for not feeling attraction to her.
I guess my brain question is this. Have I been so broken and abused by women that I no longer feel trusting of women. And I'm so afraid of women that I never even bothered to ask for her number bc I'd just assume she'd say she either had a boyfriend, and/or ghost me. What if this one girl was the only legit one. And all the other women in my life gave me PTSD and ruined my only opportunity. Guess my question was this real, and if so I must also note, she never gave me her number or way to contact her (i never asked tbh), just let me leave the bar without caring. And im told chads are always chased, and she never chased me. She flirted but didnt chase.
Im not gay either. One time I was at a bar (wasnt even a gay bar) saw this hot fem gay. Couldnt even get laid with them. I delusionally thought males were more kind than females but I was wrong. I view most people as garbage. Lost interest in gays tbh and i'd rather a woman if i had a choice.
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