What is your lifematch and does it matter?

[lowstatusmale]

My coworker was telling me the one thing she liked about her current boyfriend was that he had endured similar things and made similar sacrifices as her. I told her that I could totally relate to that. As an adult-child at 48, I still find the most difficult thing about finding a partner would be meeting somebody who has had a similar journey. It's not the most important thing, but some understanding would be nice at this point.

My lifematch would be:

1. A long history of work perseverance. Probably somebody who has had two crappy jobs or one crappy job working long hours for a period of 15 - 20 years.
2. Underappreciated selflessness. Somebody who has sacrificed a big chunk of their life for others.
3. Celibacy. Somebody who has spent the vast majority of their life single.
4. Disconnection. Somebody who gets along with others but has few close friends and no family members close by.
5. Spirituality formed by anxiety and depression. Somebody who may have gone through serious trials that taught her to wait and trust in God.

I thought somebody who has spent most of their life as an Overseas Foreign Worker might be a good lifematch for me. Different experience, yes, but I think the feelings would be very similar.

Are you just looking for someone to accept you or are there other criteria you would hope to find in a match?

 

[Jamesothy]

I think #2, #3, #4, and #5 are all very important. Not so much the first one. Having similar life experiences before coming together isn't so important as two people being basically the same kind of person at their root. A man's supposed to have more life experience than his prospective wife anyways. But yes, two people coming together to form a family should always be of the same ilk. Especially as far as spirituallity's concerned. Jesus commanded us to not become unequally yoked with an unbeliever. Besides that though, couples should be fundamentally the same. The saying that opposites attract is Satanic propaganda.

 

[rev van mev]

The whole idea of finding the ONE just seems really obscure at this point tbh. Why not trying to just learn acceptance of what we can't get and figure out the rest from there? Its difficult af, but its much more sane than getting older and older in life hoping to catch a unicorn.

 

[lowstatusmale]

The whole idea of finding the ONE just seems really obscure at this point tbh. Why not trying to just learn acceptance of what we can't get and figure out the rest from there? Its difficult af, but its much more sane than getting older and older in life hoping to catch a unicorn.

Resentment. I've just gotten to the point where I've missed out on so much, I think I'd rather remain single than be with someone whose life journey was easy, fun-filled or sexually promiscuous.

 

[rev van mev]

The whole idea of finding the ONE just seems really obscure at this point tbh. Why not trying to just learn acceptance of what we can't get and figure out the rest from there? Its difficult af, but its much more sane than getting older and older in life hoping to catch a unicorn.

Resentment. I've just gotten to the point where I've missed out on so much, I think I'd rather remain single than be with someone whose life journey was easy, fun-filled or sexually promiscuous.

Things are very much that for me as well. I'd rather try to figure out my postition and how i can possibly function in a world thats devolved to this current grand ѕhit circus.

 

[lowstatusmale]

you would think it would work the opposite way around, but it doesn't. The more rejection you face, the more you suffer, the more you sacrifice to better yourself, the higher the standards you'll have. I might consider lowering my lifematch standards for youth, beauty and sincerity, but the chance of my getting that are zero and it's super high risk long term even if I were to get it.

 

[lowstatusmale]

I think #2, #3, #4, and #5 are all very important. Not so much the first one. Having similar life experiences before coming together isn't so important as two people being basically the same kind of person at their root. A man's supposed to have more life experience than his prospective wife anyways. But yes, two people coming together to form a family should always be of the same ilk. Especially as far as spirituallity's concerned. Jesus commanded us to not become unequally yoked with an unbeliever. Besides that though, couples should be fundamentally the same. The saying that opposites attract is Satanic propaganda.

Work history is a risk assessment thing. I don't want to end up carrying some woman's ass because she's soft or lazy. I'm also not sure how I'd feel about someone coming into the relationship with no money of her own. There would have to be a trade off.

 

[Jamesothy]

I think #2, #3, #4, and #5 are all very important. Not so much the first one. Having similar life experiences before coming together isn't so important as two people being basically the same kind of person at their root. A man's supposed to have more life experience than his prospective wife anyways. But yes, two people coming together to form a family should always be of the same ilk. Especially as far as spirituallity's concerned. Jesus commanded us to not become unequally yoked with an unbeliever. Besides that though, couples should be fundamentally the same. The saying that opposites attract is Satanic propaganda.

Work history is a risk assessment thing. I don't want to end up carrying some woman's ass because she's soft or lazy. I'm also not sure how I'd feel about someone coming into the relationship with no money of her own. There would have to be a trade off.

Here's the way I see it. As a man I wouldn't ever allow my woman to work. I couldn't have a woman, who's one flesh with myself, go out from my house to be under another man's authority for any part of the day. Not for 8 hours and not for 5 minutes. It's about principle and has nothing to do with trust. I guess I'm ultra traditional. That doesn't mean she would be lazy though. She'd be doing all the cooking, cleaning, and looking after the children. I would never lift a finger for domestic chores unless she was too sick, injured, or there was some other irregular circumstance. As for risk assessment, I'm not really a courtroom type when it comes to family matters. I would tear down the sky before I ever let a court make any decisions interfering with my family. Any woman involved with me would know this full and well long before we started holding hands.

 

[lowstatusmale]

I think #2, #3, #4, and #5 are all very important. Not so much the first one. Having similar life experiences before coming together isn't so important as two people being basically the same kind of person at their root. A man's supposed to have more life experience than his prospective wife anyways. But yes, two people coming together to form a family should always be of the same ilk. Especially as far as spirituallity's concerned. Jesus commanded us to not become unequally yoked with an unbeliever. Besides that though, couples should be fundamentally the same. The saying that opposites attract is Satanic propaganda.

Work history is a risk assessment thing. I don't want to end up carrying some woman's ass because she's soft or lazy. I'm also not sure how I'd feel about someone coming into the relationship with no money of her own. There would have to be a trade off.

Here's the way I see it. As a man I wouldn't ever allow my woman to work. I couldn't have a woman, who's one flesh with myself, go out from my house to be under another man's authority for any part of the day. Not for 8 hours and not for 5 minutes. It's about principle and has nothing to do with trust. I guess I'm ultra traditional. That doesn't mean she would be lazy though. She'd be doing all the cooking, cleaning, and looking after the children. I would never lift a finger for domestic chores unless she was too sick, injured, or there was some other irregular circumstance. As for risk assessment, I'm not really a courtroom type when it comes to family matters. I would tear down the sky before I ever let a court make any decisions interfering with my family. Any woman involved with me would know this full and well long before we started holding hands.

That would be ideal. That world is gone for most men. Look what's happening in South Korea. Women would rather face an uncertain future without husband and family and without the means to provide for their retirement. This has been the goal of feminism though. Make it so women have to vote for bigger government to support them.

 

[Jamesothy]

Work history is a risk assessment thing. I don't want to end up carrying some woman's ass because she's soft or lazy. I'm also not sure how I'd feel about someone coming into the relationship with no money of her own. There would have to be a trade off.

Here's the way I see it. As a man I wouldn't ever allow my woman to work. I couldn't have a woman, who's one flesh with myself, go out from my house to be under another man's authority for any part of the day. Not for 8 hours and not for 5 minutes. It's about principle and has nothing to do with trust. I guess I'm ultra traditional. That doesn't mean she would be lazy though. She'd be doing all the cooking, cleaning, and looking after the children. I would never lift a finger for domestic chores unless she was too sick, injured, or there was some other irregular circumstance. As for risk assessment, I'm not really a courtroom type when it comes to family matters. I would tear down the sky before I ever let a court make any decisions interfering with my family. Any woman involved with me would know this full and well long before we started holding hands.

That would be ideal. That world is gone for most men. Look what's happening in South Korea. Women would rather face an uncertain future without husband and family and without the means to provide for their retirement. This has been the goal of feminism though. Make it so women have to vote for bigger government to support them.

What's going on in South Korea? Those girls are so hot. The first time I went back to the States in 2013 I transferred at Incheon. I suddenly realised that almost every South Korean girl had the look that every Chinese girl was trying to aspire to. The whole way home I had to use extreme willpower to not start fapping right there in my seat.

 

[lowstatusmale]

 

[Player]

I am in love with imaginary characters which are not even human. It would be hard for me to define my "life match". Not sure should I even try.

 

[Player]

My lifematch would be (in order of importance):

1. Adult-minded (no emotional escalations, no blaming, no lies, no name-calling, no poor impulse control, no need to be the center of attention, no bullying, no budding narcissism, no immature defenses, has observing ego, fully functional autonomous human being).
2. Good sense of justice. No excuses for crime, no compromises with injustice, no mercy for commies.
3. Open-minded. Can like a thing before it becomes popular. Can dislike a thing not because it is conventional to do so.
4. Devoted to some hobby, job, or idea. Living the dream of achievement.
5. Decent level of erudition. Smiles when asked if India has more lions than Africa, or what kind of fish dolphin is.
6. Doesn't fade in the face of minor inconveniences such as bugs, vermin, or bad weather. Can spend a night in the forest with you. Can be kissed under rain.
7. Diverse taste in media. Searches for a new experience. Reaches out for things that resonate with her. Can find what to watch together on her own.
8. Classy. Prefers elegant and official clothes. Have urges to dress like goth or Renaissance court ladies.
9. Polite. Won't spit in the face of a comrade who talks bullshit if he is somewhat a good man. Tolerate retards if they are not dangerous to avoid the drama.
10. Good sense of humor (for a woman). No wet blanket behavior. Can tell an actual joke once in a while.

 

[Jamesothy]

My lifematch would be (in order of importance):

1. Adult-minded (no emotional escalations, no blaming, no lies, no name-calling, no poor impulse control, no need to be the center of attention, no bullying, no budding narcissism, no immature defenses, has observing ego, fully functional autonomous human being).
2. Good sense of justice. No excuses for crime, no compromises with injustice, no mercy for commies.
3. Open-minded. Can like a thing before it becomes popular. Can dislike a thing not because it is conventional to do so.
4. Devoted to some hobby, job, or idea. Living the dream of achievement.
5. Decent level of erudition. Smiles when asked if India has more lions than Africa, or what kind of fish dolphin is.
6. Doesn't fade in the face of minor inconveniences such as bugs, vermin, or bad weather. Can spend a night in the forest with you. Can be kissed under rain.
7. Diverse taste in media. Searches for a new experience. Reaches out for things that resonate with her. Can find what to watch together on her own.
8. Classy. Prefers elegant and official clothes. Have urges to dress like goth or Renaissance court ladies.
9. Polite. Won't spit in the face of a comrade who talks bullshit if he is somewhat a good man. Tolerate retards if they are not dangerous to avoid the drama.
10. Good sense of humor (for a woman). No wet blanket behavior. Can tell an actual joke once in a while.

Dude, your English is impeccable! Better than mine. I've noticed this in a lot of your other posts as well. I don't know what the hell "erudition" or "wet blanket behavior" means, lol.

Ya gavariti Russki yizik, no toilka ne mnoga. Vy gavariti pa Angliski lucha chem Ya gavariti pa Russki. Kogda nebudt ya hachu poexat B Roccio. Russki gramatichiski ochen trudna, no ya magoo chitat. Y menya "Russki glaza". Yizlee be ya zhit B Roccio cherez dvea let Ya budu gavariti pa Russki ochen xopowo)))

Sorry if that hurt your brain trying to read that. I can read Russian, but not write or type it.

Anyways, yes, lying is a definite deal breaker. Any man who stays with a girl after catching her in a lie, no matter how small, is a making a terrible investment on his future. He has very little self respect.

 

[Player]

Dude, your English is impeccable! Better than mine. I've noticed this in a lot of your other posts as well. I don't know what the hell "erudition" or "wet blanket behavior" means, lol.

Why, thank you! My grammar is still a bit off. "Erudition" is when your understanding of things is backed up by knowledge from many fields. However, we use it in Russian in everyday speech more as "knowing a lot of different small facts about the world''. A wet blanket is a guest who spoils the mood by disapproving of how others having fun despite the friendly company. One of many English idioms I've learned during my lifetime.

Sorry if that hurt your brain trying to read that. I can read Russian, but not write or type it.

It was fine. At least I understood everything. I am a native Russian speaker and still have problems with punctuation here and there.

 

[lowstatusmale]

My lifematch would be (in order of importance):

1. Adult-minded (no emotional escalations, no blaming, no lies, no name-calling, no poor impulse control, no need to be the center of attention, no bullying, no budding narcissism, no immature defenses, has observing ego, fully functional autonomous human being).
2. Good sense of justice. No excuses for crime, no compromises with injustice, no mercy for commies.
3. Open-minded. Can like a thing before it becomes popular. Can dislike a thing not because it is conventional to do so.
4. Devoted to some hobby, job, or idea. Living the dream of achievement.
5. Decent level of erudition. Smiles when asked if India has more lions than Africa, or what kind of fish dolphin is.
6. Doesn't fade in the face of minor inconveniences such as bugs, vermin, or bad weather. Can spend a night in the forest with you. Can be kissed under rain.
7. Diverse taste in media. Searches for a new experience. Reaches out for things that resonate with her. Can find what to watch together on her own.
8. Classy. Prefers elegant and official clothes. Have urges to dress like goth or Renaissance court ladies.
9. Polite. Won't spit in the face of a comrade who talks bullshit if he is somewhat a good man. Tolerate retards if they are not dangerous to avoid the drama.
10. Good sense of humor (for a woman). No wet blanket behavior. Can tell an actual joke once in a while.

Great list! I know people tell us we can't be fussy, but if we pull out all the stops for someone, why not pull out all the stops for someone that we really like and respect. I mean if its not enough, it's not going to be enough for anyone, right? Might as well have standards. Can I ask you how old you are? Your list reminds me of a list I may have written in my mid-20's but I would have summed up most of them under "Nothing like my mother."

 

[lowstatusmale]

I think of a lifematch as someone whose life mirrors my own, but it could also be someone whose temperament and social standing somewhat mirrors mine as well. In broader terms, you'd probably find a better match if you take it all into account. Lives full of rejection and hardship can produce very hardened and possibly bitter people.