I understand that this forum is all about being involuntarily celibate and being unsatisfied with that, but there is absolutely so much more to you than your bad luck with dating. You are a person, first and foremost, and you have at least one other interest than that, no matter how small it is. And even if not, you are not at the old ripe age of 70-80 when you're about to die of a fuсking stroke (or at least I hope you're not). You have time to discover yourself and what you're all about. I genuinely believe you have so much potential, even if you don't see it yet. Please never stop trying and I hope you eventually find genuine happiness.