Writing The Story of a philosopher/incel/wanderer

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Lordgoro

I Think, therefore I AM
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With my stubborn hatred of any and all authority figures over me, I did my best to make it known, I was NOT happy to be there, and misery loves company. So I took it out on my “captors”, teachers, bus aides, principals, and any other representative of the scholastic system I was forced to deal with. I let them have it, in every way my mind could conceive of! For example, I was infamous for taking many crayons and melting them all over as many radiators as I could, resulting in a wonderful colorful display at the back of the classrooms. That was mild, but fun!
There was another time I collected about 100 crickets and grasshoppers in a jar, snuck it into school, and released them in the back of the class, because I knew the teacher, who had punished me on multiple occasions of course, had a phobia about insects.
When a few grasshoppers hopped on her desk, and on the floor next to her, she ran out of the classroom screaming like a elephant confronted with a mouse from that old tale. Evil? Certainly.. Satisfying? Absolutely! Of course, the well behaved kids ratted me out immediately, but it seemed worth it at the time.
As Ive mentioned before, I am bound to the limits of my nature, and enjoy what I can,whenever I can. Needless to say, I got well punished for that little stunt. As it should be.
 
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Lordgoro

I Think, therefore I AM
    177/300
So, whatever punishments I received, I usually deserved, at least according to the school system I was subject to. So here I was, no friends, no peers I respected, or got along with, teachers I hated, and a mother that didn't care, and whom I didn't care about in return. Misery all around. As if there wasn't enough of it in our existence, my entire world was Hell. Starving at home, with mayonnaise sandwiches if I was lucky, but much of the time, nothing. Many days, the lousy free school lunch was the best meal of the day. A sad state of affairs. I was on a complete downward spiral, socially, academically, personally, and mentally, and if anyone would have asked me, I wouldn't have really cared. It was just life, and my path, nothing more. At the time, yes, I got in trouble at school, but at home, not so much. I had some amazing tricks up my sleeve back then.
First of all, since I was kind of a prodigy, I taught myself the basis of speakers, electricity, wires, polarities, magnetism, and secrecy. I learned how to take ANY speaker, either full sized or all the way down to tweeters, and convert them into microphones to record with. I mastered techniques of hiding wires all over the house, and ran them all straight into my bedroom closet, where I had another recorder and speaker setup. I therefore had the ability to listen into any conversation my mother had in any room in the house, anytime. There was no such thing as a “private conversation” when I was in the house. So nothing was ever said that I didn't know about at the time. I also ended up becoming a master forger, of both my mother's signature, and various teachers I dealt with on a daily basis. An evil talent to be sure, but also a useful one!
The school would often attempt to call my mother, to let her know the nature of my actions, but could never actually reach her, also thanks to my foresight. Whenever I left the house in the morning, I figured out how to turn off the ringer on the phone, so throughout the day, someone from school would call, and my home phone never audibly rang. Therefore my mother never got word about my misbehavior, at least for awhile. I also forged all the notes the school would send home with me. Perfect copies of my mothers signature, everytime.
I had forgery down to a science. I also started studying graphology at the time, anything to help my abilities. So I was a forger, a bugger, an excessive reader, and a student of psychology and manipulation. Sometimes I got away with things, sometimes not.
 
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Lordgoro

I Think, therefore I AM
    177/300
I was a natural loner, satisfied with my own company, but a complete failure in much of my school related activities, as well as socially, but I was fine with it. Maybe even back then I somehow knew that I wasn't meant to take the same paths as my fellow classmates, that I was born for something else. Was never sure what my path was going to be, but even then, I sensed it would be my own path, maybe a road never taken before, or at least not often taken in life. So, regardless of whatever consequences in life, I did my deeds, and lived my life with the meager crap hand I was dealt. Not bluffing, but playing the hand no matter what happened, it was me, all the way.
 

Lordgoro

I Think, therefore I AM
    177/300
Chapter 5: School screw ups, the 80s, and a "gifted" student

So, I was born in 1970, but many of my distinct memories are from the 80s(I was 10 in 1980). Thats when the fun really began for me I suppose.

It was the time of ALF, Ronald Reagan(not as colorful as Donald Trump), Donald Trump of course, not President, but always in the news, Max Headroom, Automan, and cell phones were bigger than the hands that used them.

Al Bundy was selling shoes on Married with children, the Mohawk was coming into its own, Michael Jackson did great music, and was black. Also David Lee Roth of Van Halen actually had hair. Folks talked to each other as well, in person, and some of the best music of the century was being created. Duran Duran, Reo Speedwagon, the birth of MTV, and when video actually killed the radio star, and they played real music!
Home phones had actual cords, He-Man was big, as well as WWF wrestling. America was going crazy over a colored cube, rewinding tapes was a thing, and walk mans were notorious for eating cassettes(mine and many others). Was a far more innocent time, but we weren’t aware of it then. One rarely realizes when it's a good time in history until after its long gone. Perhaps its one of the rules of our very existence? Wish I knew.
 
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Lordgoro

I Think, therefore I AM
    177/300
Before I get to the next part of my story, about the closest and maybe only friend ive ever really had, as well as a “blood” brother due to closeness, I have a few childhood stories to relate and I think they deserve some honorable mentions before the future craziness.
First thing, I've been told that at a very early age, I had an extreme stuttering issue. I couldn't make it through a 3 word sentence without stuttering so bad it was borderline intelligible. I have no memory of this, but ive been told I went to a speech therapist for a full year, and somehow recovered from it. In fact, later on, I was drafted to become the school narrator for some of the plays! Quite an accomplishment for a shy kid and a horrible past victim of stuttering. Still shy, but public speaking has never been a big issue after that. I can make myself heard certainly.
As far as the next incident worth mentioning, I remember some of it, and much was pieced together from other sources, family, associates, even part of my school records that reflect all this.
I cannot recall exactly what grade it was,an earlier one certainly, but at some point my public school officials got frustrated, since I did poorly as far as homework and general grading is concerned. However I showed hints of very high intelligence at times throughout the year. For example, I am what you'd call a “natural” speller. I can generally look at a word, even words that aren't commonly used, and tell when they were even slightly misspelled. I've always had this ability, and being an abnormally early reader probably gave me a kick start on this. Some things just somehow look wrong to me, and I can usually get them correct on paper, but NOT orally, I've got to see it written, and write it, so therefore can't win a spelling bee.

So my teachers were under the impression I was either a complete dummy who got lucky from time to time, or a serious underachiever. One will never face a greater foe then ones own “potential” that's for sure. They were never really sure what I was. I used to live by a certain principal, even as a kid. I refused to do “homework”, I felt it was wrong in principle, and ive always stuck by my own principles, damned be the consequences. If you are going to believe in something, then BELIEVE it, and stand by it, no matter what happens. Thats one of my main philosophies, and always will be.
Another one of the principals I stuck by was my outright refusal to recite the pledge of allegiance. I pledged myself neither to King, Government, nor God. I was born here yes, but make my own decisions, and was never one to sign up to ideologies I did not agree with. So they recited the pledge in school, and I sat there, outright refusing. It was my way, and the only thing I really believed in, myself, back then,and ever since!
 
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Lordgoro

I Think, therefore I AM
    177/300
So between my refusal to participate in homework, and the dismal state of my schoolwork, plus my somehow puzzling yet easy passing of almost all tests, they were genuinely confused as far as my abilities and intelligence were concerned.

Was I a dummy, or a genius in disguise? They were pretty mixed up,had no idea about me. Perhaps I merely an anomaly? Or something in-between? So they came to a final solution. Someone somewhere in authority decided to give me a special test, from kindergarten level to high school. A general knowledge test, to see how much I really knew, and if I was truly a lost cause, and not worth further education, or something different, but defiant, and worthy of further study and taxpayer efforts.

It was a very long specially prepared intelligence and general problem solving test. They wanted to know for sure where I stood, with the idiots of society, or maybe the great intellects, or just something average and normal. They were never sure in my case, but apparently I had reached the proverbial “line in the sand”. They needed to know, one way or the other, what I knew, and what I was. Even I don't know that, but I give them credit for actually attempting to find out.
Sadly, their efforts turned out to be completely useless.. I was isolated for this testing, away from classmates and distractions and influences supposedly,at least that was the idea. I was placed in a fairly small locked library, for a two hour period. They wanted me away from everyone and everything that could possibly get my attention away from my test. They were fed-up, and wanted surety, and were determined to get it. Of course, they never did, or to put it more clearly, they thought they got an answer, but they actually didn't.
 
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Lordgoro

I Think, therefore I AM
    177/300
Turns out, there was another student locked up in there, for punishment apparently. He was around a corner, seated at an out of view table, so the assistant principal who placed me there was unaware of his presence. He was a high school student, my public school had many grades there, from early elementary to middle and high school, we were generally kept separate, and each did our own thing, but many levels were there.
Being myself, and completely irreverent to rules, orders, and such, I went wandering through the small library area, which the assistant principal had locked behind me, ignoring my test, and discovered this other student, much older, locked away and reading, and bored as hell.. So I did something that was probably wrong, yet seemed like a great idea at the time. I bribed him, to do the test for me. I had 10 bucks on me, and it was enough I suppose. He grabbed my papers, and started reading problems, and writing damned quickly.
He also had a pocket calculator with him(remember this was before cell phones were even an idea) and used it often. Before I knew it, the test was done.

Didn't take very long, he took my money, and gave his best effort. I was grateful. Life lived on the edge is the best there is, has always been my creed. Life is a gamble, and any life lived “safely” is not life at all. I will always roll the dice, and see what happens, otherwise, its pointless. I live by that.
So Back to my corner I went, and the guy who put me there came back later of course, and surprising to him, my test was completed. Will wonders never cease?
I was summarily taken to his office, where he graded and evaluated my answers(not really mine though)..
Don't forget, I was in early elementary school, and my test was completed my a mid high school guy, unknown to my evaluator, of course. When all was said and done, he stared at me for about 3 minutes without a word even said. They truly believed that they had their answer. According to their test, I was a hidden genius, uniquely talented at a very young age(which was of course true, but not because of their testing, trust me).
 
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Lordgoro

I Think, therefore I AM
    177/300
Chapter 6: The Bully, and his Ending

Within a week, I was transferring to a different school in Buffalo, A “magnet” school, for gifted students, at least that's the idea. Students with higher learning abilities or unique talents, with curriculum different from normal schools. I didn't exactly fit in here either of course, as expected. My path was always my own, and not easily mapped by others. I spent most of the school year here. Even with a different bus and route, in another section of Buffalo. Of course, many of the students were gifted, in a very traditional sense. However, my gifts were always something different. I still refused to do homework, on principal, and refused to participate in subjects or schoolwork I found completely uninteresting to me, and unworthy of my attentions.
So I still didn't fit in socially, and as far as my attitude and disposition towards both my peers and the work, I was a complete heathen, and didn't really care. Many of the other “gifted” students ended up looking and treating me like I was a walking disease, a leper, and of course I was beyond caring. From my earliest ages, I was already set in my being, in who I was, and how I acted.

So, academic failure that I was, I caught the attention of a bully somehow. Even though he was a grade ahead of me, and 30 pounds heavier, and certainly taller then me, somehow I caught his eye.

I wasnt meaning to of course, just the nature of existence I suppose. As long as schools and youngsters exist, bullies shall also exist, like a decree from Heaven itself, unchangeable, and eternal. Just the way it is, either the rule of God, or from the whim of the Devil, its part of our existence,we just have to deal with it in the best way we can.
So someway, either by looks, attitude, or just my nature, I caught the eye of a bully, a jerk of course, bigger in every way, older, blonde hair, bad attitude, and just itching to cause some trouble and harm for me, which he did in abundance. Often they would combine grades for gym/PE. Maybe for time constraints or other reasons. So often gym would consist of three grades, it happened a lot, to my dismay. All my life I've been amazingly modest, all the way back to my earliest memories. I refused to change in front of others, male or not. It just wasn't within me to allow anyone to see me at my most vulnerable ,naked of course. If anything felt unnatural to me, it was changing in front of others, boys, teachers, or Heaven itself.
Unless there was a private stall that I could access, I refused to change into shorts for gym classes. Sometimes, I failed gym due to this modesty. Just part of who I was, and I never cared either way.
 
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Lordgoro

I Think, therefore I AM
    177/300
However, sometimes I would be able to change privately, but looking back, I wish I hadn't. There's a distinct memory I have of one day, changing into my gym shorts(privately of course), and we were drafted for a form of indoor baseball. I was never that physical, and not inclined to sports activities,but I wasn't given a choice back then.
I remember he was there, the bully, standing at the base I was running toward. When I reached his position, still at full speed, he put his leg in the way of my path, and since I was already zooming past him, I failed to notice. The next thing I knew, I was doing my best impression of an inept Superman trying to fly, and failing miserably. With my arms out in front of my, I was in the air, on my way to an intimate but hard meeting with the gymnasium floor. Very painful, degrading, but also a lesson learned. After I landed, I turned around still on the ground, and saw him smirking at me. The teacher noticed all this, and the idiot was suspended for a few days.
However, to guys like this, discipline never works. Its a wasted effort. Bullies only speak violence, every other language is gibberish to them, might as well be speaking Greek to a wall.
He had it in for me, and nothing the school could do would make any difference whatsoever, if anything, they made it worse!
There were other times, not every day, but randomly, and often enough, where his tactics were even more humiliating, and adding fuel to the fires of Doom, his and mine. I was already somewhat primed from a very early age, due to my abusive mother, neighborhood kids who despised me, abusive boyfriends of my mother, and life's disappointments and failures in general. I was becoming the very embodiment of rage and anger, even at this developing early time.
Not only were the seeds of psychotic nature already in me, but possibly world-ending rage as well. I didn't start out bad, or evil, but I learned. I was responding as only a hunted animal would respond if pushed too far.
Never forget, true monsters aren't born that way, they are created, forged over time in the fires of hate. Innocence was something I started out with, but it rapidly got dissolved into something else, an attitude far more realistic, and better able to deal with the world on its own terms.
Certainly far more negative, like a survival instinct, but more aggressive as well.
 
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Lordgoro

I Think, therefore I AM
    177/300
So I'd be sitting in the large cafeteria eating lunch with a few hundred other students, just trying to eat my free but lousy state given unch in peace, that's all I wanted, but it wasn't part of the plan, I suppose. Once in a while, I'd be eating, and my nemesis would come up behind me, when I was involved with my food, and slap the back of my head, hard! It didn't happen daily, that would have been easier to avoid, but enough to become my personal lunchtime Hell.

This happened throughout the school year.
Teachers in the cafeteria never seemed to notice it happening, or were always conveniently looking in another direction, bad timing I guess. Other kids around me would notice, and laugh of course, par for the course. They loved to see it happen, but nary a witness around. Something I learned, no one but me truly cared about myself. Many in our society, adults and kids, are just “going through the motions”. Being polite for politeness sake, or not being polite, and not caring about anything else that's NOT happening to themselves. Its all a show to them, until it affects them directly. It's a hard lesson to learn for a little guy, but I learned it well trust me.
It occurred often, and my rage built up. Like a planet changing volcano, everytime it would happen, it would come closer to a murderous epic explosion. I tried to fight it, I avoided being around him as often as I could, but it was coming to an inevitable conclusion. The more I tried to stay away from him, the more it seemed he would seek me out, for his own personal enjoyment. A true sadist.
So, failing in my grades, due to my uncooperative nature ,and hatred of any authority,also my total refusal to submit to homework, as was my nature, what happened was not surprising. It was building for a long while, and when it ended, it was memorable, and deserving.

On my final day in that school, I was sitting eating, I was also keeping a subtle lookout for him, but had to devote some attention to my food as well. As unpalatable as it was, it was still my lunch, and well-needed sustenance. In a moment where I wasn't looking, it happened for the final time.
 
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Lordgoro

I Think, therefore I AM
    177/300
My memory is cloudy, but I still remember what's important from that time. So, took a bite, and suddenly I was seeing actual stars,with excessive sharp pain from the back of my head. What happened next was not rational, not civilized, but closer to a force of nature then something human. I remember jumping up, and the force was such that my chair flew to the back wall, hit the iron radiator, flew up, and shattered the large cafeteria window directly behind me. It was Power personified. I didn't think, in fact all thoughts were abolished, it was all instinct, reflex, and bottomless rage.
Nothing human in me responded. Only the void reacted, which has neither mercy, empathy, nor regret. It just does things, nothing more. So I have vague memories of grabbing him by the neck, regardless of size, height, weight, and strength. As small as I was, he was an ant, less than dust, not able to resist even in a small way. I had the strength of madness, of Hell itself in my fingers, inevitable and remorseless, and unstoppable, for him at least. He was down, with one hand crushing his throat, and the other hand a hammer, pounding his face with inhuman intensity. More like a machine than a sentient being.
Rational thought played no part in my efforts, only the fires of Eternity.
His resistance was like an annoying feather, didn't slow me down in the least. I was just pounding straight down, sitting on top of him, like a Mack truck, immovable, and relentless. Of course, most likely, this all happened pretty fast. When I jumped up, I was lightning itself as far as speed. Cheetahs are probably slower than my reaction to him at that time.
 
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Lordgoro

I Think, therefore I AM
    177/300
I have no memory of other kids reactions, or what they were yelling, but I know there were kids all around us, either running away, or even some gathering around. I had become the Devil himself, taking a soul by force, and many wanted to see for themselves, sick as it was,

I didn't fail for lack of effort I'm certain. Yes, as large as he was, he had no power to resist my wrath, none at all. However, as soon as my chair shattered the window behind me, teachers came running for all they were worth. His only hope was the strength of others to save him, otherwise hope was lost.
So in real time, this happened within a few short minutes, but for him and I, it was an equally an eternity. He had earned his way into his own personal damnation, and I was only too glad to be his personal Devil giving his the grand tour.

My rage knew no bounds, no limits, and would not stop, even though he was beyond cries for mercy. He was an animal below me, reduced to a piece of hated meat , nothing else. I just pounded, and the more he struggled beneath me, the more I pounded. Maybe I was trying to erase him from existence, i'm not sure,but everything that was happening, he certainly deserved it, as God as my witness, he was reaping what he’d long sown.
 
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Lordgoro

I Think, therefore I AM
    177/300
An event long overdue, bloody, whimpering, and for which he was certainly sorry by now. Next memories I have are arms around me, strong, but not strong enough to impede my pounding. Compared to my strength, they were like banana peels wrapped around me. After a few minutes or less, they turned into bands of iron that finally stopped my rage. Turns out it took 4 full grown male teachers to subdue me, nothing less, and all of them grabbing my arms and chest. I had the strength of the ages, even as a small child. On that day, the beast was born im sure. A being so unlike my normal self it's almost alien.

It is something made of rage itself, with no compunctions about the harm it causes, and laughs at all forms of pain and adversity. This is the first memory I have of its existence. This entity inside myself is so dark, like the very depths of oblivion, that it would have no problem ending the world, and all who dwell here, with no hesitation or thought whatsoever, except for laughter.
However, for now, he was born, but subdued for the moment. I was dragged off of this kid, using all of their efforts. Or at least what was left of him. His face was a bloody pulp, no visible nose, cheekbones bashed in, covered in red, eyes swelled shut, and screaming for his very life. He was like a sailor that had fallen over the worlds edge, confronted with the merciless cold of the void, lost forever, physically and perhaps mentally. The very embodiment of pain itself, loud, disturbed, and disturbing to see.
My fate was being dragged to the principal's office and isolated there, at least for a while. To be dealt with later no doubt.
As for the other unfortunate boy, an ambulance was immediately dispatched, and he was taken away with all due speed. From what I heard later he ended up in the critical care unit, to later on have cosmetic surgery to fix the damage I had done to him, which I still believe to this day he deserved. I imagine his bullying days were over, especially of smaller quiet kids.
 
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Lordgoro

I Think, therefore I AM
    177/300
So between the school's known history of my torment ,their willful neglect in never bothering to rectify the situation before all this, and my young age, no charges were ever pressed against me. I was of course permanently expelled from the school for the Gifted, never to return.. A week later, I was back in my old public school, yet again. They were not pleased to see me, not at all. I was gifted certainly, but not the same way they believed. So back to normal curriculum for me, and the usual classes as before.
So the sameness continued for a bit, write-ups on the school bus, class clown, unpopular socially with any other kids, perpetual underachiever, as far as the school system was considered, I was the worst of the worst, the very bottom of the barrel, and I imagine I passed grades mainly because the same teachers didn't want to keep dealing with me, so I was moved along to the next grade just to get rid of me.
Can't really blame them, not sure I would have wanted to deal with me either, I was the one piece that would never fit in a system designed for conformity. I was a square peg trying to be forced into that infamous round hole. Good luck Buffalo teachers.
I never wanted to be there, and resented it, and made it well known to others. Like it was my duty to make it living Hell on those authorities in charge of me, and I tried my best to fulfill it.
Any job you do, do it well, and I certainly did.
 
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Lordgoro

I Think, therefore I AM
    177/300
Chapter 7: Excerpt.. Friendships
So why do we feel a need for friendships? Seems to be quite prevalent across raсes and cultures universally. I've always wondered about that. Humans can be quite solitary creatures, and very self-sufficient in general, under the right conditions.
In ancient times, in the early days of homo-sapiens, I would imagine they banded together as a simple but effective survival tool. Consider it for a moment, a single human creature has little to no chance against a saber tooth tiger, or a mammoth, or something similarly large and hungry.
We were not seen as intelligent beings, but as dinner,or maybe a snack nothing more. We would pose far more of a digestive problem then a resistance issue. We were frail in comparison, and amazingly weak, compared to other species. Far more of an aperitif than a threat. Individually, we were to be hunted down, and eaten, nothing more. Our strength was in our intelligence, and the ability to band together, and collectively hunt, and also strategize.
As individuals, we were merely a snack, but as a tribe, we would become the most formidable force the planet had ever seen. Mankind would eventually become the top of the food chain.
 
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Lordgoro

I Think, therefore I AM
    177/300
So this “banding together” accomplished far more than any single human individuals could at the time. They not only survived, but thrived. Friendships, or at the very least cooperation was necessary back then, not for social reasons, but for their very existence. Individual humans were less successful at staying alive, and usually ended up being digested by some very formidable creatures of the times.
Did early man really want to help each other? My theory is no. In my lifetime, I've mainly experienced the credo “every man for himself”, and to hell with my fellow man.

I suspect early humans only banded together in tribes for no other reason then survivability. Personally I don't believe they really wanted to socialize, or be around others of their kind. It was out of necessity, nothing else. Or, if anything, the ability to find a mate, much harder if there are no other humans within a 50 mile radius no?

So they banded, and became tribes, instead of just individuals, and spread throughout the world. Eating other species, instead of becoming junk food themselves. Once in a while, an individual would try going off on their own, either by personal choice, or being ousted by the tribe. They probably didn't last very long back then, it was a harsh world.
So, enter more modern times. Are friendships still necessary for our survival as a species? In this day and age, we still need to cooperate to survive, to a degree. Most humans have to do some form of work to survive. Being dinner for a bigger predator is not much of an issue these days, surely, but we still have to make an income, pay bills, buy food, find mates, etc.. But are friendships still needed for this? Is this the only reason that humans ultimately cooperate? What is the idea of friendship even based upon now? Mutual survival? Or do we have an ingrained need to be among our own kind, and to be accepted?
 
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Lordgoro

I Think, therefore I AM
    177/300
Im still struggling with this question. Maybe We have a need to accept, and be accepted by others. Sometimes by many, but maybe just one in some cases. Companionship, camaraderie, a fellow human soul to relate to, to share the miseries, as well as the few joys we may have. Sometimes these needs are met by having a mate, but maybe it can be equally rewarding with just a kindred soul to talk to?
Another similar being to share our time with, and the disappointments with as well. To commiserate, and celebrate. Yes, we can be solitary creatures, but friendships can add to our own existence, or subtract, in some cases. If we are indeed alone among all the stars, isn't it a natural thing to comfort each other, in whatever small ways we can?
Mankind can be a solitary creature, no doubt, but he can also make good use of social structures, in fact, most humans lean towards them. Friendships, associations, clubs, leagues,or just drinking buddies. Maybe it's all the same thing, and it's very root goes back to early survival necessities, we just don't realize it. Having another being to talk to, spend time with, or merely commiserate with, gives us something we cannot give ourselves, another voice, or being to reflect our thoughts back at us, and not only do we learn about others, but ourselves as well.
 
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Lordgoro

I Think, therefore I AM
    177/300
So regardless of how solitary some of us may be, we will always in our souls need another being to talk to, spend our time with, and reflect on who we are. Sometimes just an associate, a friendly face from time to time, or an actual friend. They make life tolerable sometimes. Perpetually by ourselves, we are surviving. With at least a single true friend in our lives, we go beyond that, we are actually living life, and that ultimately make life WORTH LIVING in return.
 

Lordgoro

I Think, therefore I AM
    177/300
Chapter 8: Joseph, my friend and "brother"
So I grew up as the aforementioned solitary boy. Shunned by family, due to being the son of a black sheep mother. Scorned and deemed a pariah and outcast by neighborhood kids for being a bit “different” , and despised by a school system and peers for the previous events of my life in earlier chapters, I was used to my solitary life, which I was quite resigned to. By this time, I was a strong kid, strength of spirit, will, and downright stubbornness. I was certainly set in my ways, and even though I was not liked by others, I liked myself, and was happy in my own being, even though I dealt with misery on a daily basis.

Im not exactly sure what grade this was in, but one year, I met another unique soul languishing in his own purgatory. His name was Joseph, same as my middle name. At the time I met him, he was a little kid with dirty blonde hair, kind of on the chubby side, with a devious yet likable nature. Always a sly look in his eye, and a conniver, but blessed with the gift of gab. I don't believe he was Irish, but he certainly kissed the blarney stone at some point. He was very similar to me, a perpetual underachiever, with a taste for chaos and disorder. It was only a matter of time before we ended up together as friends, or at the very least fellow young agents of chaos!
We started getting in mutual trouble, doing certain bad things in unison, and in fact we inspired each other to new heights of juvenile delinquency. Always had to go one step further, in all our endeavors, no matter how stupid nor strange.
I guess it was a matter of time(not much time) before we both realized we had mutual goals, and joined our efforts together, to the detriment of the school and other students.
 
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Lordgoro

I Think, therefore I AM
    177/300
It was like gravity, our destinies were bound together, inevitably. Like me, he had zero respect for authority, and wanted to make his own path in life, regardless of what others thought of him. He had a sense of humor, and a hint of chaos, and irreverence for anything and everything, much like myself. Living by the seat of our pants, and generally pissing off as many teachers and authorities as we could, and consequences be damned! Until that point, I never realized I needed a kindred soul, to confide in, to share the same miseries and thoughts with, to earn the same punishments, and the same ridicule. Something I needed in my soul, but didn't realize at the time.
We ended up gravitating towards each other, as class rejects, clowns, and reviled universally. Both moved to the far back of the classroom, due to the fact that teachers wanted to deal with us as least as possible. We were both universally despised, by both teachers and other students, especially the “good” and well liked academically successful students, both popular and “teachers pets”. We were the reviled, the repulsive, and all that was wrong with the class, at the time. Of course, we were also a minority, most students were average, or well liked, or good achievers.
 
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