I was constantly drinking, alone, at home, and wondering why no girls would talk to me or go out with me or even give me a phone number for the most part. I mean, fuck, was I not a nice guy? A proper gentleman? Being nice to all of these ladies and they weren’t responding in a manner I felt they should because I was so nice all the time, I was doing stuff for my co-workers and they weren’t appreciative enough. I’d be talking to a girl and find out they had a boyfriend and be so pissed that I was doing all this “nice” stuff for them and there was no way that they’d “return the favor by giving me a mouth hug or sexy times.” Not fair, right? Then, one day, after posting on a throwaway account I don’t remember anymore, I was bitching about how this one co-worker who was leaving was such a bitch because she wouldn’t respond to my advances at all and kept trying to friend zone me and I’d always be a loser and no one would ever want a guy like me because I guess I’m just too nice for my own good, right?
And some dude responded with something along the lines of “if you’re only doing nice things because you think someone is going to reciprocate with sex, you may not actually be a nice person. Just a nice guy. And nice guys suck. I think they even linked, or I found soon afterwards, a website about nice guys and why what you’re doing is kind of a dick move and maybe if you were just doing nice things for people because you were nice and not because you’re putting nice coins into a vending lady to maybe show her how special you are you could find someone not repulsed by your overbearing, creepy antics. So I worked on ways to be more confident in myself, improved my grooming (fat, lazy slob over here guys wondering why 8s and 10s wouldn’t date smelly, sweaty me), got my haircut (I hadn’t been to a barbershop in probably about 6 years at that point) and stopped treating women as some prize I had to win and more like people like me except they have boobs. And I got a girlfriend after ~1 month of that, that I still have to this day.
I would consider myself to be still an incel (without the ideology). I mean that is the point of it, there is no hope. But still, I could improve myself in the way that:
1. I am aware now that I am an insecure asshole.
2. I respect women as human beings.
And some dude responded with something along the lines of “if you’re only doing nice things because you think someone is going to reciprocate with sex, you may not actually be a nice person. Just a nice guy. And nice guys suck. I think they even linked, or I found soon afterwards, a website about nice guys and why what you’re doing is kind of a dick move and maybe if you were just doing nice things for people because you were nice and not because you’re putting nice coins into a vending lady to maybe show her how special you are you could find someone not repulsed by your overbearing, creepy antics. So I worked on ways to be more confident in myself, improved my grooming (fat, lazy slob over here guys wondering why 8s and 10s wouldn’t date smelly, sweaty me), got my haircut (I hadn’t been to a barbershop in probably about 6 years at that point) and stopped treating women as some prize I had to win and more like people like me except they have boobs. And I got a girlfriend after ~1 month of that, that I still have to this day.
I would consider myself to be still an incel (without the ideology). I mean that is the point of it, there is no hope. But still, I could improve myself in the way that:
1. I am aware now that I am an insecure asshole.
2. I respect women as human beings.
