Non judging non incel here. What do you guys want?

Nojudgement

Incels.Net Novice
Hi everyone,

I'll start off by making it clear I'm not an incel, despite having struggled to some degree with dating in the past (I'm 5'3" and, I think, decent looking). I did some reading around the topic when it hit the news a few times and it's been both interesting and sad in many ways. By the latter I don't mean that I consider you to be sad in a negative way, but rather that your lives and struggles must hurt a lot and it's a real shame that you (or anyone) needs to go through that. While I don't agree with everything that is expressed here (and on other incel sites), I can sympathise a lot with what you must go through in life.

I'd like to ask a neutral question about your hopes/goals/ideas.

What is it you would actually like to change in the world to make things better?

By this I mean practical things that are possible to change as I would be interested in society becoming a better place for everyone who is in it. Perhaps I'm an idealist but that drives a lot of what I do and work towards.

Thanks in advance and all the best
 

lordoftheincels

Incels.Net Master
I just want to be loved. Got rejected again recently. Feeling tinnitus in my ears like I can't escape my fate and the world is rigged against me.

My selfish goal is to be loved. Only cucks say its wrong to have selfish goals...when the fact is when you are suffering, you are adding one more soul to the cosmic pool of suffering, it's doing the world a favor when you can finally escape suffering. You will probably act like a better person and less of a burden too when your life is not constant pain. People who hate incels are as unenlightened as it gets, they don't actually care about the net suffering of this world.


My non selfish goal is to give Africa a baby limit. I care about Africans, I am sick of Africans starving and I don't want to see them suffer. Cucks throw their money at starving africans, which is like trying to put out a forest fire with a few fire extinguishers. What needs to be done is some kind of baby limit, they breed too many babies too fast, overpopulate and don't have enough resources to go around.
 

ortharzeal

EteRnal Evil.
Bluepilled coping retards want another mommy to love them for what they are (genetic trash).
Regular retards want to be Chad to pump and dump.
Insane retards want to overthrow all chads and stacys and slaughter.
Alt-right cuckservative retards want to have females equally distributed among men, like it used to be before muh wamyn rights.
Other retards want to LDAR in peace.
 

vcelguy

Incels.Net Master
tremor said:
Bluepilled coping retards want another mommy to love them for what they are (genetic trash).
Regular retards want to be Chad to pump and dump.
Insane retards want to overthrow all chads and stacys and slaughter.
Alt-right cuckservative retards want to have females equally distributed among men, like it used to be before muh wamyn rights.
Other retards want to LDAR in peace.
so y you call incels retards? :|
 

ortharzeal

EteRnal Evil.
vcelguy said:
so y you call incels retards? :|
Many if not most of us are repulsive, me included. Apologies to those fellows who are easily offended tbh.

Upd. I lied, the actual reason is my emotional instability.
 

Nojudgement

Incels.Net Novice
Thank you for replying.

I can definitely appreciate the importance of being loved. It's right there on the scale of Maslow's human needs. If you don't belong and get loved in all aspects of life, that's a horrible way to have to go through things. I agree with you Lordoftheincels that for someone to hate a group of people who are looking for belonging is hardly the way to reduce sadness or cruelty in the world. From my side, while I don't agree with some of the ideas you guys share or, rather, think they can be oversimplified explanations/justifications, those are just ideas, not people. I mean, we can argue about whether or not certain things are a certain way without extending that argument to anything personal.

I think what prompted me to start talking on this forum was the poor representation of incels in the media, focusing on the worst or most extreme comments and then extending it to all people who are struggling and alone.

What kinds of things do you think could be changed in your lives to improve things? What I mean is, do you have any ideas or plans that might help make things better?
 

ortharzeal

EteRnal Evil.
Nojudgement said:
From my side, while I don't agree with some of the ideas you guys share or, rather, think they can be oversimplified explanations/justifications, those are just ideas, not people. I mean, we can argue about whether or not certain things are a certain way without extending that argument to anything personal.
Why of course it's all oversimplified, just like any other concept made up to talk about the society overall, how it is collapsing functions and so forth. Blackpill consistencymogs all other pills though. Also provides instant explanation to everything that goes on around, just like religion, but with actual legit evidence.
I think what prompted me to start talking on this forum was the poor representation of incels in the media, focusing on the worst or most extreme comments and then extending it to all people who are struggling and alone.
Most guys like you end up chased away tbh, because they come and start their bluepilled patronizing which is one of the causes of incels' resentment and disillusionment.
You've made it way farther. Idk, you can be proud of it if you don't have any real achievements.
What kinds of things do you think could be changed in your lives to improve things? What I mean is, do you have any ideas or plans that might help make things better?
Some incels studymax to later moneymax and either be able to afford the best copes out there or attempt running betabux game, which still requires passable looks like >4/10, while incels are usually 4 and below. Also many moneymaxers hope to improve their looks with plastic surgeries.
Others, if eligible, resort to NEET life or, if not, do a shitty job to make ends meet and LDAR in their spare time, admitting defeat for good.
There are incels who approach wahmanz, talk to them, act confidently and try their luck with the redpill stuff in other ways. Sure as hell they fail, but for some reason don't want to quit. These guys usually LDARshame fellow incels who have given up, labeling them volcels for not fitting the definition of "involuntarily celibate".
It's hard to tell how much incels really do to fix their problems. There are many normie fakecel LARPers in the community who take part to be le edgy.
That's ridiculous, wtf, nothing good about being an incel. Even more hilarious are the gatekeepers who can easily deem one a fakecel if he once held hands with a female, implying incels are a VIP club or some Masonic lodge.
My impression is that actual incels usually don't do much to fix the romance issues, because "taking the blackpill" is about accepting it's over for ugly men. But, as I have already mentioned, there's the other opinion that incels should be tryharders to qualify for "involuntarily celibate" status, as opposed to "voluntarily celibate" or volcel.
 

Nostalgicel

Incels.Net Regular
I think not getting falsely accused would be a start(improbable tough)/

I had my "tryhard phase" (old now). If you try hard for a long amount of time and expecting the different results, you are insane.
 

qzmp300

Incels.Net Junior
(1) A guy who thinks he is too ugly to ask a girl out and no girl would ever consider him worthy of having relationships and sex, can become incel. The idea here is that women’s standards are increasing and they just can’t make themselves as attractive can turn someone an incel.

(2) A guy who can ask a girl out, but gets rejected constantly can become an incel.

(3) A guy who is shy, reserved, good willed, respects women, has good education but surrounded by extroverted smooth talker people aka chads who can easily get women to like them can become an incel. He simply can’t act like them. He was not made that way. It’s baffling to him how women can fall in love with these superficial people who are clearly faking all their emotions and just trying to get in bed with her, but he can’t get any girl to like him even though he has so many ‘good’ qualities.

These are some of the reasons I can think of from the top of my head right now. I am sure there are many more. How would you ever solve these problems?
For (1), One thing that can be done is to increase their exposure to women. Maybe they will stop thinking themselves as ugly if they had more female friends. Maybe they will have a feeling that their looks does not matter as much to just start a simple chat with women. I know this because I consider myself belonging to this category.

For (2) and (3), I really don’t know. It requires you to force women to like these guys, which is never gonna happen and is of course not the moral thing to do. You can’t force someone to like something. I don’t think this problem has any solution.
 

Nojudgement

Incels.Net Novice
tremor said:
Why of course it's all oversimplified, just like any other concept made up to talk about the society overall, how it is collapsing functions and so forth. Blackpill consistencymogs all other pills though. Also provides instant explanation to everything that goes on around, just like religion, but with actual legit evidence.

Most guys like you end up chased away tbh, because they come and start their bluepilled patronizing which is one of the causes of incels' resentment and disillusionment. You've made it way farther. Idk, you can be proud of it if you don't have any real achievements.

Some incels studymax to later moneymax and either be able to afford the best copes out there or attempt running betabux game, which still requires passable looks like >4/10, while incels are usually 4 and below. Also many moneymaxers hope to improve their looks with plastic surgeries. Others, if eligible, resort to NEET life or, if not, do a shitty job to make ends meet and LDAR in their spare time, admitting defeat for good.

There are incels who approach wahmanz, talk to them, act confidently and try their luck with the redpill stuff in other ways. Sure as hell they fail, but for some reason don't want to quit. These guys usually LDARshame fellow incels who have given up, labeling them volcels for not fitting the definition of "involuntarily celibate". It's hard to tell how much incels really do to fix their problems. There are many normie fakecel LARPers in the community who take part to be le edgy.

My impression is that actual incels usually don't do much to fix the romance issues, because "taking the blackpill" is about accepting it's over for ugly men. But, as I have already mentioned, there's the other opinion that incels should be tryharders to qualify for "involuntarily celibate" status, as opposed to "voluntarily celibate" or volcel.
I can see how the blackpill is rooted in a lot of evidence basis and I think to dismiss it out of hand is disingenous at best and cruelly unfair at worst. My experience is that everyone I know is in some kind of relationship. Perhaps I'm surrounded more by normal people and so it's unfair to compare. I have one guyI teach English to who has/had cancer and a bunch of other problems who is therefore quite overweight, has scars from transplants etc and generally is in poor shape. He's married. Also I got to meet Dan Ariely (http://danariely.com) when he came to my company's HR conference. He's a researcher and pretty badly burned - 70% of his body if I recall properly. He's interesting guy who has done research on a bunch of behavioural options including dating/romance. He admits that he was ready to give up on romance after being so messed up by scars but is now married happily.

Still, I haven't met any of you so I can't say whether things could change for you.

I'm not planning on being ridiculously optimistic as I think that's, as you say, one of the most resentment-inducing things you can do. "Hey, look at me from my position of advantage over you pointing out how 'easy' things are if you are just confident. From my side, I'm not looking to make any special accomplishments here. I'm happy in who I am and what I have (wife, kids, fascinating work, happy life overall) but my career is focused on good communication and helping people. I suppose my goal here on this forum is trying to, in some small way, show understanding, empathy and perhaps some optimism for you who are struggling with life.

Personally I'm on the side of continually fighting to make life more worthwhile, in whatever way(s) you are able to.
 

ortharzeal

EteRnal Evil.
Nojudgement said:
I suppose my goal here on this forum is trying to, in some small way, show understanding, empathy and perhaps someq optimism for you who are struggling with life.
Then you should keep in mind the patronizing thing I've mentioned and be careful with how you do that.

It's an important thing to understand that the "support" we provide here to each other is mostly not about pity, but about respect. About treating each other as equals. Pitying here is, to say the least, frowned upon, as it belittles its addressees, which is actually the backbone of our problems.

Critics never think about it, they are perhaps delusional enough to believe that if they aren't treated like shit, then they are respected and so is everyone. Ignorance is bliss.
 

Nojudgement

Incels.Net Novice
Naturally. I have no intention of patronising anyone. My work is in communication so I'm constantly aiming to be cognisant of what I say and howI say it.

My primary concern with some incel forums (I browsed .me for a bit before) is that the support can often feel like you don't want to actually change the things in life you have more control over and I think that's a shame as an outlook. I'm not talking about trying to change the unfair nature of the world at times, but rather finding something positive to direct your energies towards.

I agree with you that inceldom is no fun. For me, I've had it for the last two weeks as I've been on a business trip to California rather than being in Europe with my family. On the other hand, feeling frustrated for a couple of weeks is a far cry from feeling that way with no end in sight or guarantee of that end ever coming.

I promise not to pity anyone here, but I won't promise not to do my best to help. Reasonable deal? :)
 

ortharzeal

EteRnal Evil.
Nojudgement said:
Naturally. I have no intention of patronising anyone. My work is in communication so I'm constantly aiming to be cognisant of what I say and howI say it.
Nice. Then one more thing to know is you wouldn't always be able to expect the same from those who you are talking to, since our geography is diverse and English is not necessarily one's first language.
It's another common error to assume that all incels come from the US, the UK and Canada. I myself have seen people from all parts of the globe, every continent. Not that I've been looking into that stuff, people tell and I happen to memorize, but you certainly get what I mean.
My primary concern with some incel forums (I browsed .me for a bit before) is that the support can often feel like you don't want to actually change the things in life you have more control over and I think that's a shame as an outlook. I'm not talking about trying to change the unfair nature of the world at times, but rather finding something positive to direct your energies towards.
Leading LDAR lifestyle is part of identifying as a blackpilled incel for many guys here. I've written about that, perhaps failed to make myself clear.
I promise not to pity anyone here, but I won't promise not to do my best to help. Reasonable deal? :)
I don't mind.
 

albie

Incels.Net Regular
Nojudgement said:
Hi everyone,

I'll start off by making it clear I'm not an incel, despite having struggled to some degree with dating in the past (I'm 5'3" and, I think, decent looking). I did some reading around the topic when it hit the news a few times and it's been both interesting and sad in many ways. By the latter I don't mean that I consider you to be sad in a negative way, but rather that your lives and struggles must hurt a lot and it's a real shame that you (or anyone) needs to go through that. While I don't agree with everything that is expressed here (and on other incel sites), I can sympathise a lot with what you must go through in life.

I'd like to ask a neutral question about your hopes/goals/ideas.

What is it you would actually like to change in the world to make things better?

By this I mean practical things that are possible to change as I would be interested in society becoming a better place for everyone who is in it. Perhaps I'm an idealist but that drives a lot of what I do and work towards.

Thanks in advance and all the best
THere is nothing I want that is practical or likely. Maybe if the antichrist manifested that would be cool.
 

schmuck

Incels.Net Junior
There are guys in prison who get chicks. I cannot. There is no way you can truly grasp this laughable situation. And yeah, I do get a laugh about myself in a gallows humor way. 'Betcha didn't see that coming. So I put no stock in your "understanding".
 

Nojudgement

Incels.Net Novice
Harsh things you're facing, no doubt about it. I hope you find worthwhile things to put your energy towards if dating is (unfairly) not in your future and there's nothing you can do about it.
 

lordoftheincels

Incels.Net Master
schmuck said:
There are guys in prison who get chicks. I cannot. There is no way you can truly grasp this laughable situation. And yeah, I do get a laugh about myself in a gallows humor way. 'Betcha didn't see that coming. So I put no stock in your "understanding".
Most prison types are alphas who are in there due to selling drugs or money related things. They are alpha and have more money than you most likely. The vast majority of prisoners aren't axe-murderers who went to prison over their ideology.
 

schmuck

Incels.Net Junior
lordoftheincels said:
Most prison types are alphas who are in there due to selling drugs or money related things. They are alpha and have more money than you most likely. The vast majority of prisoners aren't axe-murderers who went to prison over their ideology.

I watched one of those prison tv shows that profiled a prisoner who was a total scrub of a meth freak who didn't look like chad. Mid-twenties balding lean hunched over tatted up white guy. I think he was in for robbery with assault and battery or some such. I get that doing an interview on camera may be difficult if one is not used to it, but even with that benefit of the doubt I could tell by the way he struggled to form sentences that 99 percent of the board members here are by far his intellectual superior. The chick was a good 8 out of 10. She found him through a prison dating website.

I don't watch a lot of tv. Even though it can provide an amount of escapism, there are too many reminders of what I'm missing. No thanks to romantic comedies, hell, love scenes for that matter. I thought I was safe viewing lockdown or lockup or whatever that was. But no, that time i was gobsmacked and just laughed and laughed. The reminders are just myriad and ubiquitous.
 
Top