i dont want to be alive

killhatori

Member
hello everyone. i dont really talk on the internet or online a lot but here i am (/*u*)/ i dont know how long ill last so i want to post something here.

i went to highschool and finished okay. no matter how hard i tried, i could not get my grades up high because i had to miss school so much. i am an embarrasment. my other family members are extremely gifted but i cannot do any of that. sometimes id stay home just to escape from the normalfags.
i started missing a lot of school because i have anxiety. my parents payed for my college, but i dropped out because i couldnt make it. its hard for me to crawl out of bed even. i shake so much and puke thinking about how much i missing and how much i am failing, they are angry at me for dropping and and wasting their money. i am such a fuсking waste of skin. keeping a job is impossible because of my anxiety attacks. i was working at a shopmart and the alpha fuсking chad yelled at me for it. i want to kill myself. i had another attack and he just left me there i wish i had died.
i never had any friends except for some assfags in elementary shcool but they just wanted to steal my pokemon cards. i know they all made fun of me behind my back. i got bullied in middle school and thats when i finally knew id never be happy. they locked me in the locker room with only my towel and i cried like a baby. i dont deserve to be happy. i wasnt built for it.
i dont know what the fuck to write anymore. i stay a home mostly and draw but everything i draw looks like ѕhit. i moved out so my parents wouldnt have to look at me anymore. i went out last night to get some takeout but everyone was staring at me because i was disgusting. my rent is $400 a month for a single room and i cant even make ends meet. if i was born just to shake and puke and have everyone hate me, then why was i born?
(T-T) hahahaha
thats all i have to say. i dont know how to end this. i had a girlfriend once, for a week but she left me. i tried to be good. i dont hate her. i wouldnt want to date me either, even if i was nice. 人(_ _*)

i havent killed myself yet because a) i am a pusѕy and b) my mom might be sad, but im waiting for them to be far enough for it not to hurt as bad.
 

tremor

Well-Known Member
Staff Member
Lounge member
Don't kys, better copes await and you will die one day anyway.

Also if your only problem is just the anxiety thing and nothing related to actual health, you could try to fix it. Most likely you won't though, you aren't even asking ѕhit about it in OP post.
 

Lordgoro

Well-Known Member
Lounge member
Death comes quite SOON enough on its own... NO need to hurry it up... Find a PASSION, something you love.. Mine is video games(single player offline ONLY) and REAL GEMSTONES!!! I collect rubies, emeralds, sapphires, topaz, etc.. They bring me personal joy, even if Im always ALONE!! Find whatever works for you... Death will find you soon enough trust me..
 

lordoftheincels

Well-Known Member
Staff Member
Lounge member
Panic attacks is due to low T. Try boosting T and see what happens. T makes you ugly and horny but you said you were already ugly so Idk. Pros and cons. Also T might cause panic attacks so idk.

Think what you need is a kind and loyal woman, but you're incel so its back to square one. Maybe pot is what you need.
 

gramsey86

Member
BANNED
you don't need a woman. you need therapy. you need to figure out the cause of your anxiety so you can learn how to cope with it. you should also take meds for your anxiety to help calm you down. you can also try meditation, it's pretty helpful when you're having an anxiety attack. just slow, deep breaths. I know how it feels to want to be dead. if you ever need someone to talk to, you can pm me.
 

Xenon

Active Member
killhatori said:
hello everyone. i dont really talk on the internet or online a lot but here i am (/*u*)/ i dont know how long ill last so i want to post something here.

i went to highschool and finished okay. no matter how hard i tried, i could not get my grades up high because i had to miss school so much. i am an embarrasment. my other family members are extremely gifted but i cannot do any of that. sometimes id stay home just to escape from the normalfags.
i started missing a lot of school because i have anxiety. my parents payed for my college, but i dropped out because i couldnt make it. its hard for me to crawl out of bed even. i shake so much and puke thinking about how much i missing and how much i am failing, they are angry at me for dropping and and wasting their money. i am such a fuсking waste of skin. keeping a job is impossible because of my anxiety attacks. i was working at a shopmart and the alpha fuсking chad yelled at me for it. i want to kill myself. i had another attack and he just left me there i wish i had died.
i never had any friends except for some assfags in elementary shcool but they just wanted to steal my pokemon cards. i know they all made fun of me behind my back. i got bullied in middle school and thats when i finally knew id never be happy. they locked me in the locker room with only my towel and i cried like a baby. i dont deserve to be happy. i wasnt built for it.
i dont know what the fuck to write anymore. i stay a home mostly and draw but everything i draw looks like ѕhit. i moved out so my parents wouldnt have to look at me anymore. i went out last night to get some takeout but everyone was staring at me because i was disgusting. my rent is $400 a month for a single room and i cant even make ends meet. if i was born just to shake and puke and have everyone hate me, then why was i born?
(T-T) hahahaha
thats all i have to say. i dont know how to end this. i had a girlfriend once, for a week but she left me. i tried to be good. i dont hate her. i wouldnt want to date me either, even if i was nice. 人(_ _*)

i havent killed myself yet because a) i am a pusѕy and b) my mom might be sad, but im waiting for them to be far enough for it not to hurt as bad.
Hi man, how it is going? Have you tried to search for professional help about panic attacks and anxiety? I know that medicalize fuсking everything is not the answer, but it may halp you.
 

killhatori

Member
Xenon said:
Hi man, how it is going? Have you tried to search for professional help about panic attacks and anxiety? I know that medicalize fuсking everything is not the answer, but it may halp you.
i am getting meds for depression but they havent found the right dosage/type yet. i sleep all he time. the anxiety and depression go against eachother so i dont know what is happening,
 
i think the others are right death takes us all sooner or later their is no need to kys find something you like to keep your mind off ѕhit you dont like on a side note you said you draw ? have any sketches you would be willing to send /share? i mean drawing isnt easy for most of us im sure your better along than us
 
maybe you could even draw requests of anime or something on like deviant art or something maybe not ether way worth a try it may help make you feel better ether way i wish you well friend and hope the best for you
 
Hey man -- i have a feeling you might be bipolar like me if your medicine is affecting you that way. Talk to dr about mood stabilizers. Lotsa times we don't register mania as mania and just think we are not depressed sometimes

Also would suggest online work/school to cope with anxiety, and if you find a way to make ѕhit work for you you may not want to kys as much

You obviously are strong since you are still here and if you find what works for you medically and for work/life/whatever (remote or night shift is great) you'll feel like you're playing easy mode
 

AlveusVonSt

Active Member
BANNED
I have been there. The bullying and not wanting to live no more. But overtime i just stopped worrying. I cut my emotions. But it was not worth it. I dont feel anything and you need that. Dont do what i did.
 
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