I can help you.

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Incels.Net Junior
I know, I know. The idea that your situation can be "helped" sounds unreal. You've viewed the atomic blackpill, and you have a nihilistic view of women in general. Most of you have already given up. You have no faith in women, or just no faith in yourself around women. You truly believe that it can't, and won't happen for you. I'm no wizard or mind reader, I'm stating the obvious.

I've been there. I know exactly how all of you feel. I felt exactly the same for a very long time. But maybe my personal story can give you some faith. Please. Please read. It's going to be long, but I promise it will be worth it and you will take some valuable lessons from it. It might even give you a new perspective.

There once was a game that I played on the internet. It was a silly game, mostly a virtual chatroom with basic little avatars and basic little rooms. I was hooked on the game simply because there were clubs that were pretty social and organized within said game. I enjoyed being a member of the clubs, and in this game, I was able to be more myself than I was in person, as someone who was very very socially awkward, anxious, and insecure. I was age 23 at the time, and I was genuinely starting to give up on the idea of ever being with a girl. I'd never even so much as kissed a girl, or been in a relationship, or had any sexual contact with a girl at all.

One day, when I was sitting in the little game, a female avatar I had spoken to a few times began to often sit next to me in said game. She seemed to always want to talk to me. She had a weird looking avatar with pale skin, and I figured she was probably not very attractive in person either, but she had a great personality. She was kind, smart, funny, the whole package, really.

One day, she wanted to Skype call with me. Mind you, we weren't in an "online relationship" or anything AT ALL, and in my eyes, I was just her friend. I made up some sorry excuse like "my webcam is broken and I don't have a mic," because honestly, I wasn't confident about my appearance at all due to being overweight, and I had no idea how to even talk to girls unless via text. All she had was a small little, blurry picture of me in which you could barely tell what I looked like. I didn't want to give anyone the wrong impression, so I made sure I was neither attractive, nor unattractive in the picture, but I also couldn't go on webcam. The picture was as basic as it got, and no girl seemed overly intrigued by my appearance in said picture for obvious reasons. This was the only indication of my appearance that she had, but she did not care. She took my excuse that my webcam was broken and I didn't have a mic at face value, and said she would still go on cam and just talk with me through text if I wanted her to. I was surprised, but I agreed.

She got on webcam. She was sitting in a coffee shop on her laptop, dressed in all black, her work uniform. She was a makeup artist having a coffee before work. I had no idea what to expect of her appearance, as she was from South Africa and at that point, I didn't even know what ethnicity she was. So, you can imagine my shock. She was this petite, cute, absolutely adorable little white girl who weighed no more than 105lbs. I was genuinely shocked. I was even more shocked to see how genuine she was when we were talking. Laughing, smiling ear to ear, her eyes watery and glowing. She was such a good person, the most genuine person I'd ever met.

As I stated earlier, I was very nihilistic at the time, so I thought nothing of it. I even refused to let myself "like" her, because I knew I didn't have a chance in hell.

Fast forward a few months: we talked a lot, but that was it, and I continued to refuse to let myself like her, even though I genuinely DID like talking to her. Then... my father passed away. This sort of flipped my life upside down. I was living up North at the time, and my father and the rest of my family down South. I had also been working at my job for 4 years, (in this job, I was SURROUNDED by hundreds of different women of the same age as me, yet never had luck of course) and was desperate for a change. I made the decision to move in with my mom down South immediately after attending the funeral of my father. I moved, got a new job, and tried to focus on life again with the deep-seeded hope of meeting a girl who would like me. Of course, about 8 months passed, and it never happened. My new found motivation had depleted, my severe depression had overcome me, and I started to get bored again. So one day, I logged back into the aforementioned game.

I knew several people in this game, due to playing it for many years, so I wasn't surprised that so many people that I knew from back then were contacting me. Even more surprising, the South African girl I mentioned above, Sara, messaged me within MINUTES of me signing on the messenger we normally used at the time- MSN. "Brian!" she said excitedly in the chat. I was genuinely happy that she was still playing, and also surprised. It wasn't exactly the type of game that beautiful, bright, 20 something year old girl's played for very long, if ever. But she was still there. Not only was she there, but another friend from the game told me that she was literally WAITING for me, and constantly asked about me.

It was at this point that it really started to set in that this girl actually liked me. She didn't care about my appearance, hell, she'd never even SEEN me. Just that blurry, awkward picture I mentioned. We started to chat constantly, and I would use the same excuse to avoid going on webcam, yet she would ALWAYS go on webcam. I eventually got up the courage to talk to her on the phone. I expected her to be awkward or weird or something - I was wrong. She was just as kind, vibrant, and intelligent on the phone. Sweet, funny, the whole package. I honestly couldn't believe what was happening.

We would call each other often, she would go on webcam often, things even started to get intimate between us. I eventually asked her if she wanted to be in a long-distance relationship. To my surprise, she said something like "Online relationship? Well... I normally wouldn't do something like that... but for you..." We grew very close, she would even fondle herself on webcam while I talked dirty to her several nights a week. Luckily for me, she also was open about sex, but not at all a "ho." She'd only been with 3 guys at that point. We were friends on Facebook by that point (keep in mind I had only the same, blurry, non-picture of myself on my Facebook and that was it), and she was very open about who she dated. We talked for hours, HOURS, EVERY SINGLE DAY. She would stay up all night talking to me, because our timezones were completely opposite and it was often the only way we'd have time to talk like that.

Things were getting serious fast, and then one day, she said she wanted to visit me. I was skeptical of course, but she was DEAD serious. I agreed not thinking she was serious, and then a few weeks later, she was asking me about dates and times, airports, etc. Fast forward a couple days, and she was sending me the receipt for her plane ticket. She was coming. She bought her own plane ticket, and it was very expensive (almost $2,000). I later found out that she literally took a loan out and put herself in debt in order to do this, but I digress.

Internally, I begin to panic. I remember one night hyperventilating, realizing that our online relationship was about to hit the next level- we'd be meeting in person, and I had NO IDEA what to even do. Being still pretty overweight at the time, I panicked. I began running. There was a nearby park that I would go to 3-4 times a week, and I would just run. Usually around 3-4 miles per day. I would even use the monkeybars and pushup bars to do pushups, pullups, etc. I was determined to not disappoint her, no matter how many times she repeatedly told me that she DID NOT CARE what I looked like. I had such a skeptic view of the way women looked at men that I assumed she was just saying that because I thought maybe she assumed I wasn't actually bad looking or something, even though I'd repeatedly hinted to her that I was overweight and not very attractive at all.

Still, through some random chance, I met a GORGEOUS, petite girl, who was a former figure skater and gymnast, with a shining, beautiful personality, who happened to live a few THOUSAND miles away from me in another country, and who happened to REALLY care about me, on a f***king online game. I was shocked that this whole thing was happening.

She arrived a month later. I remember that moment of panic I had in the airport. Even though I'd been running my ass off and getting in shape, I still believed I was fat, ugly, gross, and unappealing to women. But I would've felt way too bad if I hadn't tried, after she spent all that money and came all that way. I'd be lying if I said I didn't contemplate getting up and walking out of there. I sat with my back facing the escalator in baggage claim so she wouldn't spot me, even though she HONESTLY had NO idea what I even looked like. In all those months we'd be talking for 10+ hours a day, she never pried or forced me to send her more pictures of myself. She always said she didn't care what I looked like.

So, the moment arrived. I saw that cute, petite girl coming down the escalator, looking nervous as all hell, scared even, and looking around for me. She walked over to wait for her bags, probably realizing that she had no clue what I actually looked like if she needed to find me. I got up, I walked up behind her, stepped to her side, and put my arm around her to give her a sort of "side-hug." She wasn't making eye contact with me at first, but I could tell she was REALLY scared and nervous, just like I was. Walking back to my car was a blur. We said a few words back and forth, but it was really stressful and awkward. We got in the car. I gave her the flowers I'd bought her. She said thank you and put them aside, visibly still really nervous. We had about a 30 minute drive ahead of us. After I'd calmed down, I started to drive. We said a few words back and forth, but we were both really nervous, so it was mostly silence and small talk. I finally started to calm down and accepted the silence. As I was driving, sunglasses on, I noticed her looking at me out of the corner of my eye from the passenger seat. She was looking at me, examining my face... and smiling.

We decided to have a drink to calm down, so we sat down in a little cafe place that served alcohol. I sat across from her. She was very sweet and polite to me, even though you couldn't cut the tension in the air with a hot machete. I was panicking internally. I thought for sure that she was regretting her decision to come. We had one beer, then decided to head to the hotel so she could "shower." You see, through all the talking we did leading up to the day that she came to visit, we'd both sort of "planned" to immediately pounce on each other and have sex, but she repeatedly told me that this would happen ONLY AFTER SHE SHOWERED, because she said she would feel gross after a 20 hour flight. As we got up to leave the cafe, it sort of dawned on me that I'd need to do something to break the ice. I NEEDED to find out if she just hated me and regretted everything, or if she was just nervous, like I was.

So, we sit down in the car. I told myself over and over again in my head, "this is it. The moment I find out if this was all worth it." I put the keys in the ignition, but then I look over at her. She's looking at me again, and smiling. I said "can I kiss you?" Keep in mind, we had been in a VERY SERIOUS "online relationship" for a while, and we'd both talked about these moments for hours. She looked nervous when I asked, and said "but I haven't brushed my teeth yet." I thought she was just avoiding kissing me, so I said "I don't care" and began to lean towards her. She sighed, and said "Okay." And then I kissed her. We made out for a good 6-7 minutes, RIGHT THERE in the parking lot of a massive town square, with several families walking by right in front of us. But neither of us cared. I even nearly pulled her tits out of her shirt by accident. She wasn't resisting.

We finally agree to drive to the hotel, and again we begin to make out in the car. This time, she climbs over and sits in my lap. We make out for at least 10 minutes before some black guy walks by and looks at us like "dafuq?" We both laugh, then go into the hotel room. She set down her things and went to shower. She asked if I wanted to go in with her, as we had talked about, but I said "no, it's okay." I was SO nervous. I couldn't do it. "I already showered before I came and got you," I said. She gets in the shower. I begin hyperventilating and lay on the bed, panicking. It seemed like she took the fastest shower ever. I began to question if I messed up by not showering with her, so I walk to the bathroom door. It's partially open. I push it, and she's standing there in a towel, looking up at me and blushing. I kiss her again, and her towel falls away. Oh my God. Her body... was... incredible. If you ever see a 107lb gymnast/figure skater naked, you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. Perfect tits, perfect, plump ass, flat stomach, perfect EVERYTHING. We fucked like animals for 2 hours that day.

I'm going to stop the descriptive part of my story now- because I don't want to rub it in. I know exactly how that can feel, because I felt EXACTLY like all of you guys do for so many years as girl after girl had zero interest in me. But let's just say, the two of us hit it off. We had the time of our LIVES, for the two weeks that she was there. When she left and went back to South Africa, I was nervous that she would decide I wasn't good enough or something, and to my surprise, things went back to exactly the way we were in our online relationship, except we both missed each other WAY MORE now when we weren't talking. To my surprise, there was nothing wrong with this girl. She was sweet, attractive, beautiful, a literal perfect 10. She had lots of friends, she wasn't a social outcast or anything, she was a manager at her job. She was the perfect single girl for a guy like me, and she was madly in love with me. I was skeptical that she may be in it for citizenship into the USA, but she actually tried talking me into moving to South Africa instead (but was willing to move to USA if I couldn't move there). I knew that she loved me. She definitely wasn't in it for money - I was broke as a joke, a line cook at a local restaurant, and she NEVER asked me to pay for the plane ticket, which as I mentioned earlier, she put herself in debt to get. About a month after she went home, she unbeknownst to me, took out yet ANOTHER loan, putting herself further in debt, to BUY ME a 2,000 dollar plane ticket to South Africa. Before I left, we had a phone call where she said, "You know how I said I wouldn't want to get married JUST so that one of us can have an easier time becoming citizens? Well... I wanted to say that... it wouldn't JUST be for that, for me." This took me by surprise, but she was basically telling me that she wanted to marry me.

And we did get married. And things WERE amazing, for the longest time. It was actually me, doing something stupid and hurting her really badly, and neglecting our relationship that led to the end of our relationship a few years later. An update, by the way, being with her completely cured me and I've been with other girls since.

Anyway, here's some footnotes, a point I'm trying to make to all of you:

There ARE girls out there who do not care about looks.
There ARE genuine, kind, loving girls out there who aren't "broken" or who have some ulterior motives.
ANYTHING can happen, especially if you try.
The internet is a VERY GOOD PLACE for Incel's to meet girls, but you might want to try other options besides dating apps- the mere concept of dating apps are shallow.
There IS a person out there who you will connect with. I was an Incel until I was 23, and I literally found my soul mate from thousands of miles away without trying.

The thing is, I agree with you guys to an extent. MOST girls are shallow, only concerned with looks or what men can offer them. The good news is, NOT ALL OF THEM. The good, genuine one's are rare, but they're out there. You need only to keep your head high, there's always a chance that you will "get lucky" like I did. The truth is, though, in hindsight, I didn't *just* get lucky. I put HOURS AND HOURS of effort into that online relationship. I treated her right. I was good to her. I made her laugh. I made her happy.

You can too. NEVER give up hope. I was just as hopeless as you guys are right now, one day. And I overcame it. Don't give up. Don't assume that ALL women are sacks of shit. Yes, most of them are, but not all of them are. Keep your heads high, I understand what you guys are going through. This is especially important for those of you who are still in your early 20's or lower. There IS a chance.
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