How would you describe yourself, and what 2 things (other than looks) would you change about yourself if you could?
I'm not a good person, I've grew up from a lovely child to an anxious absolute horrible person, that also happens to be a potential murderer. Firstly my parents and then society made me like this. At least this society also gave me a gift to see through bullshit. I appreciate that.
But it also gave me high level of anxieties that stop me from living my life and eventually depression and lack of self esteem.
As bad looking I am, I'm pretty sure I'd get women, good social life, and better education if I just didn't catch this disorder called anxiety and social anxiety. It stops me from living, on every way.
Generally, I can't be myself around people, unless I get to know them before and feel more comfortable with myself. That is my burden. And not many people have ever let me have that chance, but rather think of me as an creep with no IQ. And they couldn't be more wrong..
As much as I hate myself, I also love myself. I do have a great personality, I do have something worth inside of me, but this society has never let me come up to my full potential. Back when I wasn't this bad with mental health, I was great in math for example, and a good student in general. And right now, I don't even go to college because of my illnesses and disgusting people that made me this way. I do wish to torture them.
Lastly, about those women that keep telling us that we should fix our personality issues (anger, bitterness, hate..)
Yeah, women don't like men that are bitter and angry to their own life. They don't like men that hate themselves. Of course nobody is attracted to a loser. However, many women don't care if you are full of hate and anger to women or anyone else if you happen to be either handsome or extremely confident. That's a fact.
Yes, every woman judge by looks, but if you have that dominant personality or if you know what words to say, they will subconsciously stop doing that from some sort of fear, or whatever it is. Of course if you're ugly, you're ugly and worthless in her eyes until you prove her wrong with your dominance. That's what I've learned with other men, and my online experiences. With that said, it's rare to see an ugly guy being respected by good looking women or women in general because many guys never get to build that confidence and personality, when the girls in your early age call you ugly, make fun of you, and teachers don't even let you punch her when she does that. If I was alloved to defend myself, I'd never have such low self esteem.
What I also want to mention, I've met many women online. Lots of them loved my personality and my voice. Sure, there were those that didn't even try to talk to me because of my looks, and in general I was always in some sort of disadvantage when my pfp was up, but I managed to get them interested. What would be the issue at the end? Well my anxieties and their way of seeing me. They would think I'm this great social guy with lots of friends etc., until a certain topic wouldn't come up and I would tell them about my anxieties and why I wont be as fun if we meet, or comfortable at all. At least in first few times.
Of course they lost interest after that. I don't even blame them. But it hurts, it really does. I've never tried being someone I am not, the fun and interesting me is really there when I'm comfortable. And they've got to meet that guy when were speaking to me on a call.
I've also tried a calm approach, trying to be less interesting to lower their expectations.. And nothing. If you're not good looking, having a strong and fun personality is a must. I had no chance.
To some I've told I had anxieties from the start of conversation, and of course it ended, with showing zero interest in me. Women don't want broken stuff, which is funny as at least 1/3 of women I've met online, have some sort of a baggage.
I'm not a good person, I've grew up from a lovely child to an anxious absolute horrible person, that also happens to be a potential murderer. Firstly my parents and then society made me like this. At least this society also gave me a gift to see through bullshit. I appreciate that.
But it also gave me high level of anxieties that stop me from living my life and eventually depression and lack of self esteem.
As bad looking I am, I'm pretty sure I'd get women, good social life, and better education if I just didn't catch this disorder called anxiety and social anxiety. It stops me from living, on every way.
Generally, I can't be myself around people, unless I get to know them before and feel more comfortable with myself. That is my burden. And not many people have ever let me have that chance, but rather think of me as an creep with no IQ. And they couldn't be more wrong..
As much as I hate myself, I also love myself. I do have a great personality, I do have something worth inside of me, but this society has never let me come up to my full potential. Back when I wasn't this bad with mental health, I was great in math for example, and a good student in general. And right now, I don't even go to college because of my illnesses and disgusting people that made me this way. I do wish to torture them.
Lastly, about those women that keep telling us that we should fix our personality issues (anger, bitterness, hate..)
Yeah, women don't like men that are bitter and angry to their own life. They don't like men that hate themselves. Of course nobody is attracted to a loser. However, many women don't care if you are full of hate and anger to women or anyone else if you happen to be either handsome or extremely confident. That's a fact.
Yes, every woman judge by looks, but if you have that dominant personality or if you know what words to say, they will subconsciously stop doing that from some sort of fear, or whatever it is. Of course if you're ugly, you're ugly and worthless in her eyes until you prove her wrong with your dominance. That's what I've learned with other men, and my online experiences. With that said, it's rare to see an ugly guy being respected by good looking women or women in general because many guys never get to build that confidence and personality, when the girls in your early age call you ugly, make fun of you, and teachers don't even let you punch her when she does that. If I was alloved to defend myself, I'd never have such low self esteem.
What I also want to mention, I've met many women online. Lots of them loved my personality and my voice. Sure, there were those that didn't even try to talk to me because of my looks, and in general I was always in some sort of disadvantage when my pfp was up, but I managed to get them interested. What would be the issue at the end? Well my anxieties and their way of seeing me. They would think I'm this great social guy with lots of friends etc., until a certain topic wouldn't come up and I would tell them about my anxieties and why I wont be as fun if we meet, or comfortable at all. At least in first few times.
Of course they lost interest after that. I don't even blame them. But it hurts, it really does. I've never tried being someone I am not, the fun and interesting me is really there when I'm comfortable. And they've got to meet that guy when were speaking to me on a call.
I've also tried a calm approach, trying to be less interesting to lower their expectations.. And nothing. If you're not good looking, having a strong and fun personality is a must. I had no chance.
To some I've told I had anxieties from the start of conversation, and of course it ended, with showing zero interest in me. Women don't want broken stuff, which is funny as at least 1/3 of women I've met online, have some sort of a baggage.