How to handle extreme jealousy?

WishingForSomething

Incels.Net Junior
I've been incel for years now. I wasn't part of this forum until today, but have frequented the Reddit communities, and sometimes some threads on 4chan and such. Anyways, that's probably irrelevant but I figured I'd provide some background information that explains why I have so much frustration pent up inside of me. I haven't been able to get a girlfriend for my whole life, and it's always for some superficial reasoning.

There's this girl that I find amazingly attractive. She's stunning in every way, and treats me very kindly but she is not interested in me sexually or romantically. She's interested in this one guy that I've grown to hate and have extreme jealousy towards. I've only met him twice now, but it's like I can't stop ruminating on him. He's the one who's managed to capture this beautiful girl's fascination, and me, who have been trying like crazy to get her attention is just brushed aside. He walks in and less than a week of knowing her and she's already fallen for him.

This guy is her "type" I guess. Musician. plays guitar and piano. He's an artist too, and works in Graphic Design. Freelance too, so he has all this time to pursue other hobbies and interests, and work on his own schedule, which she thinks is just "sooo awesome". Because of this, he's got plenty of time to improve himself and get even more above my level. Graphic designing, freelance musician, interested in art history and Design Theory, and the same literary interests as this girl in question. He is also heavily involved in the punk rock music scene. Always going to shows and stuff. He's a stoner, and he spends a lot of his time going out to pubs, or wandering the city looking for inspiration and spots to work on his art or music. And she thinks it's so fascinating that he works in his field of interest, for stupid independent musical artists, designing their album covers and logos, and working on store banners for shops that sell skateboards or music merchandise. Seems unrealistic to me, to continue in this business in the current economy, but she likes it. And you can tell how much it's getting to me, because I've remembered every single detail that she tells me about this guy, and I've remembered every little thing he's said to us the two times we've been out in a social setting together.

He treats me well enough, which makes me even more mad. It's like I'm here getting more and more angry and frustrated and he's laid back, sipping on his stupid alcoholic beverage giving himself cirrhosis of the liver, while chatting casually about some things that she of course thinks is so interesting that she hangs on his every word. She sits there staring at him, and then feels bad and tries to include me in the conversations. I don't want sympathy conversation.

I'm not too horribly overweight, a bit of chub, and I know my nose is too big for my face, but these are some small things to look past for someone who will be there for you, and not be high out of his mind on who knows what plus weed and alcohol. I'm able to connect on an platonic level with her, and carry on conversations, but you can tell she is 100% not interested in me, even though we have a lot in common. As soon as I met this guy for the first time, I thought "holy shit, he looks just like Judd Nelson when he was young". And I'm serious here, looks just like him in the Breakfast Club. Same fucking hair and everything, it makes me so mad that this is the type she's into. She told me that he reminds her of John Bender as well because I brought it up to kinda subtly point out that she's going for a type that's kind of a loser, (Stoner, drinking, no realistic plans for the future) and she got excited about it. "I know he does! He's told that constantly though, someone even bought him a little figure as a joke because that's how often he's told it" and she starts laughing and blushing like a little girl. Pathetic behaviour. Real great, John Bender walks into my real life, goes into graphic design and hijacks my life. Just my l luck.

I'm so bitter and I want to rip his stupid leather jacket off of her shoulders when she's wearing it. I've been tempted to steal one of his stupid band pinks off the jacket too, just out of spite. But I have to act like an adult here.

He's the type of guy that can sleep in and wear whatever he wants, because he works for himself and has all this free time, blah blah blah. That's like a child. How will he support her? Then I can dress up in a tie every day, make money, be responsible and stable, and she still won't give me the time of day.

I know she will never love me. How do I overcome this immense jealousy? He doesn't even seem to be aware that she's in love with him, he's oblivious and I don't get what she sees in this type of individual. We're supposed to go out together again, with him and one of his friends and the friend's girlfriend, in a group of six. i don't know if I can handle this again. But Im starting to show signs of this extreme jealousy, and I don't want him to know it, because then he gets the upper hand AGAIN. If it's just a group of six, there's more people to talk to, and I might not be as socially uncomfortable in that situation. It might give me a chance to regain my dignity, composition, and composure.

Anyways, what's your opinion on all this? Should I go, or should I reject the invitation? What are some ways to remain cool, composed, and confident, and most of all, how do I overcome this immense jealousy that is destroying who I am on a day to day basis? It's debilitating, I cant be myself anymore. Any and all advice is appreciated. Sorry for the long rant. I'm just about to lose it, my self esteem, though never very high, is now at an all time low. Thank you.
 

ortharzeal

EteRnal Evil.
If you need random incels tell you what to do then you probably should avoid contact with your oneitis until you man up and stop being a fatcel (volcel). Maybe it's not that bad and you are just a failed normie seeing that you've been invited to an event.
 

Lordgoro

MAD as a Hatter!
WishingForSomething said:
I've been incel for years now. I wasn't part of this forum until today, but have frequented the Reddit communities, and sometimes some threads on 4chan and such. Anyways, that's probably irrelevant but I figured I'd provide some background information that explains why I have so much frustration pent up inside of me. I haven't been able to get a girlfriend for my whole life, and it's always for some superficial reasoning.

There's this girl that I find amazingly attractive. She's stunning in every way, and treats me very kindly but she is not interested in me sexually or romantically. She's interested in this one guy that I've grown to hate and have extreme jealousy towards. I've only met him twice now, but it's like I can't stop ruminating on him. He's the one who's managed to capture this beautiful girl's fascination, and me, who have been trying like crazy to get her attention is just brushed aside. He walks in and less than a week of knowing her and she's already fallen for him.

This guy is her "type" I guess. Musician. plays guitar and piano. He's an artist too, and works in Graphic Design. Freelance too, so he has all this time to pursue other hobbies and interests, and work on his own schedule, which she thinks is just "sooo awesome". Because of this, he's got plenty of time to improve himself and get even more above my level. Graphic designing, freelance musician, interested in art history and Design Theory, and the same literary interests as this girl in question. He is also heavily involved in the punk rock music scene. Always going to shows and stuff. He's a stoner, and he spends a lot of his time going out to pubs, or wandering the city looking for inspiration and spots to work on his art or music. And she thinks it's so fascinating that he works in his field of interest, for stupid independent musical artists, designing their album covers and logos, and working on store banners for shops that sell skateboards or music merchandise. Seems unrealistic to me, to continue in this business in the current economy, but she likes it. And you can tell how much it's getting to me, because I've remembered every single detail that she tells me about this guy, and I've remembered every little thing he's said to us the two times we've been out in a social setting together.

He treats me well enough, which makes me even more mad. It's like I'm here getting more and more angry and frustrated and he's laid back, sipping on his stupid alcoholic beverage giving himself cirrhosis of the liver, while chatting casually about some things that she of course thinks is so interesting that she hangs on his every word. She sits there staring at him, and then feels bad and tries to include me in the conversations. I don't want sympathy conversation.

I'm not too horribly overweight, a bit of chub, and I know my nose is too big for my face, but these are some small things to look past for someone who will be there for you, and not be high out of his mind on who knows what plus weed and alcohol. I'm able to connect on an platonic level with her, and carry on conversations, but you can tell she is 100% not interested in me, even though we have a lot in common. As soon as I met this guy for the first time, I thought "holy ѕhit, he looks just like Judd Nelson when he was young". And I'm serious here, looks just like him in the Breakfast Club. Same fuсking hair and everything, it makes me so mad that this is the type she's into. She told me that he reminds her of John Bender as well because I brought it up to kinda subtly point out that she's going for a type that's kind of a loser, (Stoner, drinking, no realistic plans for the future) and she got excited about it. "I know he does! He's told that constantly though, someone even bought him a little figure as a joke because that's how often he's told it" and she starts laughing and blushing like a little girl. Pathetic behaviour. Real great, John Bender walks into my real life, goes into graphic design and hijacks my life. Just my l luck.

I'm so bitter and I want to rip his stupid leather jacket off of her shoulders when she's wearing it. I've been tempted to steal one of his stupid band pinks off the jacket too, just out of spite. But I have to act like an adult here.

He's the type of guy that can sleep in and wear whatever he wants, because he works for himself and has all this free time, blah blah blah. That's like a child. How will he support her? Then I can dress up in a tie every day, make money, be responsible and stable, and she still won't give me the time of day.

I know she will never love me. How do I overcome this immense jealousy? He doesn't even seem to be aware that she's in love with him, he's oblivious and I don't get what she sees in this type of individual. We're supposed to go out together again, with him and one of his friends and the friend's girlfriend, in a group of six. i don't know if I can handle this again. But Im starting to show signs of this extreme jealousy, and I don't want him to know it, because then he gets the upper hand AGAIN. If it's just a group of six, there's more people to talk to, and I might not be as socially uncomfortable in that situation. It might give me a chance to regain my dignity, composition, and composure.

Anyways, what's your opinion on all this? Should I go, or should I reject the invitation? What are some ways to remain cool, composed, and confident, and most of all, how do I overcome this immense jealousy that is destroying who I am on a day to day basis? It's debilitating, I cant be myself anymore. Any and all advice is appreciated. Sorry for the long rant. I'm just about to lose it, my self esteem, though never very high, is now at an all time low. Thank you.
The way I personally SEE it, you basically have three choices... Boils down to this... Number 1.. Do absolutely NOTHING, keep putting up with this forever as your RAGE simmers and boils, and eventually you may go POSTAL on the world anyway! Number 2, get some gloves, wear a hat or easy disguise, follow his every move, memorize his EXACT schedule, then one day either make him "disappear"(happens everyday in america), never to be seen again, OR sneak into his apt(if he lives by himself), tazer him, and arrange a quiet "suіcіde" and forge a note with his handwriting, CLAIMING hes actually GAY and cannot live with himself anymore(this would have the EXTRA effect of breaking HER heart twice, by his death, and by the gay claim)... Number 3, cut HER AND HIM COMPLETELY out of your life, no phone calls, no texts, etc.. Find something ELSE to do with your free TIME!! THose are your options friend... Speaking as a complete psycho, I of ALL people understand your pain, rage, and hate... Either deal with it with quiet well planned VIOLENCE, or cut yourself OUT of the situation... Eventually you'll feel better without her around, TRUST ME!! This is for YOUR OWN GOOD!! :cool:
 

kickster

Incels.Net Junior
For your own good, don't ask Incels for dating advice, because incels don't have dating experience (which is why they're incels). Follow a self-improvement community instead if you want real results

incels like to blame shit but like how many of them actually practice talking to girls? they'll just come up with some random excuse to never realize that they just need to go practice. talk to 10 girls a day for 1 year and tell me that you couldn't get laid lol
 

Lordgoro

MAD as a Hatter!
kickster said:
For your own good, don't ask Incels for dating advice, because incels don't have dating experience (which is why they're incels). Follow a self-improvement community instead if you want real results

incels like to blame ѕhit but like how many of them actually practice talking to girls? they'll just come up with some random excuse to never realize that they just need to go practice. talk to 10 girls a day for 1 year and tell me that you couldn't get laid lol
Your a complete IDIOT!!! I guess you didnt hear the story of the chinese guy asking EVERY SINGLE WOMAN out in his city, it was in the thousands I believe, and every last one of them turned him DOWN!! WHen your incel, your incel, and beating your head against the same stone wall wont help you! Just break your skull...
 

BrettyBoy

Locally undesired.
Just cut contact with her. Pointless remaining friends with someone of the opposite gender who doesn’t find you attractive.
 

ortharzeal

EteRnal Evil.
BrettyBoy said:
Just cut contact with her. Pointless remaining friends with someone of the opposite gender who doesn’t find you attractive.
Based and high T. If no relationship, then it's either "friend with benefits" (Chad) or an orbiter (sub-Chad).
 

BrettyBoy

Locally undesired.
tremor said:
BrettyBoy said:
Just cut contact with her. Pointless remaining friends with someone of the opposite gender who doesn’t find you attractive.
Based and high T. If no relationship, then it's either "friend with benefits" (Chad) or an orbiter (sub-Chad).
Friends with benefits or relationship or nothing.
 

1234567

Incels.Net Junior
WishingForSomething said:
I've been incel for years now. I wasn't part of this forum until today, but have frequented the Reddit communities, and sometimes some threads on 4chan and such. Anyways, that's probably irrelevant but I figured I'd provide some background information that explains why I have so much frustration pent up inside of me. I haven't been able to get a girlfriend for my whole life, and it's always for some superficial reasoning.

There's this girl that I find amazingly attractive. She's stunning in every way, and treats me very kindly but she is not interested in me sexually or romantically. She's interested in this one guy that I've grown to hate and have extreme jealousy towards. I've only met him twice now, but it's like I can't stop ruminating on him. He's the one who's managed to capture this beautiful girl's fascination, and me, who have been trying like crazy to get her attention is just brushed aside. He walks in and less than a week of knowing her and she's already fallen for him.

This guy is her "type" I guess. Musician. plays guitar and piano. He's an artist too, and works in Graphic Design. Freelance too, so he has all this time to pursue other hobbies and interests, and work on his own schedule, which she thinks is just "sooo awesome". Because of this, he's got plenty of time to improve himself and get even more above my level. Graphic designing, freelance musician, interested in art history and Design Theory, and the same literary interests as this girl in question. He is also heavily involved in the punk rock music scene. Always going to shows and stuff. He's a stoner, and he spends a lot of his time going out to pubs, or wandering the city looking for inspiration and spots to work on his art or music. And she thinks it's so fascinating that he works in his field of interest, for stupid independent musical artists, designing their album covers and logos, and working on store banners for shops that sell skateboards or music merchandise. Seems unrealistic to me, to continue in this business in the current economy, but she likes it. And you can tell how much it's getting to me, because I've remembered every single detail that she tells me about this guy, and I've remembered every little thing he's said to us the two times we've been out in a social setting together.

He treats me well enough, which makes me even more mad. It's like I'm here getting more and more angry and frustrated and he's laid back, sipping on his stupid alcoholic beverage giving himself cirrhosis of the liver, while chatting casually about some things that she of course thinks is so interesting that she hangs on his every word. She sits there staring at him, and then feels bad and tries to include me in the conversations. I don't want sympathy conversation.

I'm not too horribly overweight, a bit of chub, and I know my nose is too big for my face, but these are some small things to look past for someone who will be there for you, and not be high out of his mind on who knows what plus weed and alcohol. I'm able to connect on an platonic level with her, and carry on conversations, but you can tell she is 100% not interested in me, even though we have a lot in common. As soon as I met this guy for the first time, I thought "holy ѕhit, he looks just like Judd Nelson when he was young". And I'm serious here, looks just like him in the Breakfast Club. Same fuсking hair and everything, it makes me so mad that this is the type she's into. She told me that he reminds her of John Bender as well because I brought it up to kinda subtly point out that she's going for a type that's kind of a loser, (Stoner, drinking, no realistic plans for the future) and she got excited about it. "I know he does! He's told that constantly though, someone even bought him a little figure as a joke because that's how often he's told it" and she starts laughing and blushing like a little girl. Pathetic behaviour. Real great, John Bender walks into my real life, goes into graphic design and hijacks my life. Just my l luck.

I'm so bitter and I want to rip his stupid leather jacket off of her shoulders when she's wearing it. I've been tempted to steal one of his stupid band pinks off the jacket too, just out of spite. But I have to act like an adult here.

He's the type of guy that can sleep in and wear whatever he wants, because he works for himself and has all this free time, blah blah blah. That's like a child. How will he support her? Then I can dress up in a tie every day, make money, be responsible and stable, and she still won't give me the time of day.

I know she will never love me. How do I overcome this immense jealousy? He doesn't even seem to be aware that she's in love with him, he's oblivious and I don't get what she sees in this type of individual. We're supposed to go out together again, with him and one of his friends and the friend's girlfriend, in a group of six. i don't know if I can handle this again. But Im starting to show signs of this extreme jealousy, and I don't want him to know it, because then he gets the upper hand AGAIN. If it's just a group of six, there's more people to talk to, and I might not be as socially uncomfortable in that situation. It might give me a chance to regain my dignity, composition, and composure.

Anyways, what's your opinion on all this? Should I go, or should I reject the invitation? What are some ways to remain cool, composed, and confident, and most of all, how do I overcome this immense jealousy that is destroying who I am on a day to day basis? It's debilitating, I cant be myself anymore. Any and all advice is appreciated. Sorry for the long rant. I'm just about to lose it, my self esteem, though never very high, is now at an all time low. Thank you.
You are not her type obviously, all you can do is forget and move on. Everyone experiences extreme jealousy (duhhh) no matter how attractive or interesting you are. People just have types, it’s that simple.

I’m considered generically attractive but I love guys with big noses. I’ve only dated chubby or incredibly skinny guys because that’s my type. What I’m saying is, there is someone out there for you. Don’t lose hope!

I hope you rejected the invitation, going would have only made you feel worse. Distance yourself until you’ve cooled down. BUT be supportive of her, remain friends with her. That’s the only way to let them know you are not bothered.

Your true lady will come soon.
 

kaumak

Incels.Net Novice
WishingForSomething said:
I've been incel for years now. I wasn't part of this forum until today, but have frequented the Reddit communities, and sometimes some threads on 4chan and such. Anyways, that's probably irrelevant but I figured I'd provide some background information that explains why I have so much frustration pent up inside of me. I haven't been able to get a girlfriend for my whole life, and it's always for some superficial reasoning.

There's this girl that I find amazingly attractive. She's stunning in every way, and treats me very kindly but she is not interested in me sexually or romantically. She's interested in this one guy that I've grown to hate and have extreme jealousy towards. I've only met him twice now, but it's like I can't stop ruminating on him. He's the one who's managed to capture this beautiful girl's fascination, and me, who have been trying like crazy to get her attention is just brushed aside. He walks in and less than a week of knowing her and she's already fallen for him.

This guy is her "type" I guess. Musician. plays guitar and piano. He's an artist too, and works in Graphic Design. Freelance too, so he has all this time to pursue other hobbies and interests, and work on his own schedule, which she thinks is just "sooo awesome". Because of this, he's got plenty of time to improve himself and get even more above my level. Graphic designing, freelance musician, interested in art history and Design Theory, and the same literary interests as this girl in question. He is also heavily involved in the punk rock music scene. Always going to shows and stuff. He's a stoner, and he spends a lot of his time going out to pubs, or wandering the city looking for inspiration and spots to work on his art or music. And she thinks it's so fascinating that he works in his field of interest, for stupid independent musical artists, designing their album covers and logos, and working on store banners for shops that sell skateboards or music merchandise. Seems unrealistic to me, to continue in this business in the current economy, but she likes it. And you can tell how much it's getting to me, because I've remembered every single detail that she tells me about this guy, and I've remembered every little thing he's said to us the two times we've been out in a social setting together.

He treats me well enough, which makes me even more mad. It's like I'm here getting more and more angry and frustrated and he's laid back, sipping on his stupid alcoholic beverage giving himself cirrhosis of the liver, while chatting casually about some things that she of course thinks is so interesting that she hangs on his every word. She sits there staring at him, and then feels bad and tries to include me in the conversations. I don't want sympathy conversation.

I'm not too horribly overweight, a bit of chub, and I know my nose is too big for my face, but these are some small things to look past for someone who will be there for you, and not be high out of his mind on who knows what plus weed and alcohol. I'm able to connect on an platonic level with her, and carry on conversations, but you can tell she is 100% not interested in me, even though we have a lot in common. As soon as I met this guy for the first time, I thought "holy ѕhit, he looks just like Judd Nelson when he was young". And I'm serious here, looks just like him in the Breakfast Club. Same fuсking hair and everything, it makes me so mad that this is the type she's into. She told me that he reminds her of John Bender as well because I brought it up to kinda subtly point out that she's going for a type that's kind of a loser, (Stoner, drinking, no realistic plans for the future) and she got excited about it. "I know he does! He's told that constantly though, someone even bought him a little figure as a joke because that's how often he's told it" and she starts laughing and blushing like a little girl. Pathetic behaviour. Real great, John Bender walks into my real life, goes into graphic design and hijacks my life. Just my l luck.

I'm so bitter and I want to rip his stupid leather jacket off of her shoulders when she's wearing it. I've been tempted to steal one of his stupid band pinks off the jacket too, just out of spite. But I have to act like an adult here.

He's the type of guy that can sleep in and wear whatever he wants, because he works for himself and has all this free time, blah blah blah. That's like a child. How will he support her? Then I can dress up in a tie every day, make money, be responsible and stable, and she still won't give me the time of day.

I know she will never love me. How do I overcome this immense jealousy? He doesn't even seem to be aware that she's in love with him, he's oblivious and I don't get what she sees in this type of individual. We're supposed to go out together again, with him and one of his friends and the friend's girlfriend, in a group of six. i don't know if I can handle this again. But Im starting to show signs of this extreme jealousy, and I don't want him to know it, because then he gets the upper hand AGAIN. If it's just a group of six, there's more people to talk to, and I might not be as socially uncomfortable in that situation. It might give me a chance to regain my dignity, composition, and composure.

Anyways, what's your opinion on all this? Should I go, or should I reject the invitation? What are some ways to remain cool, composed, and confident, and most of all, how do I overcome this immense jealousy that is destroying who I am on a day to day basis? It's debilitating, I cant be myself anymore. Any and all advice is appreciated. Sorry for the long rant. I'm just about to lose it, my self esteem, though never very high, is now at an all time low. Thank you.
If you can't handle being just her friend then you have to get out of there man. You owe it to yourself to let her go and forget about her. Let her go and used and abused by Chad. They all do. I ghosted mine and it sucked really bad at first but now that some time has gone by I'm glad that I did. Don't give her the satisfaction of being orbited around. Don't give her the attention if she's not returning it. If you're not getting what you want out of the friendship you have to leave. Don't waste your time on her when she clearly doesn't care. Stop hurting yourself. Up to you though man.
 

kaumak

Incels.Net Novice
kickster said:
For your own good, don't ask Incels for dating advice, because incels don't have dating experience (which is why they're incels). Follow a self-improvement community instead if you want real results

incels like to blame ѕhit but like how many of them actually practice talking to girls? they'll just come up with some random excuse to never realize that they just need to go practice. talk to 10 girls a day for 1 year and tell me that you couldn't get laid lol
10 girl's day is a fuckton. I made a tinder and got no matches in a month. I asked a couple more girls out at the gym. I asked girls out when I was still in school. Nobody ever wanted me. I don't know what else I have to do to prove to you that Incels exist and I have the misfortune of being one.
 

Xero1101

Incels.Net Novice
You’ve been cucked. Hope you rejected the invitation. This sounds even worse than the friend zone, you’ve been brother zoned by her.
 

WelcomeToMyDNA

I am who I am and I can be no other
That's why I stay locked away 24/7 where I see no human beings anywhere. No ragefuel in sight. just ldaring in peace.
 
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