How to cope with roommate’s girlfriend?

SunRex

New Member
I’m 26, and live with an old friend. We’ve been friends since we were kids, and at first we were on the same playing field, but as we got older, he began having luck with women, while I did not. He’s an attractive, tall, white guy, so he’s pulling some pretty attractive women. Recently, he got a new girlfriend who spends all her free time here and it makes me insanely upset. It’s like this girl is rubbing it in my face that she wants someone like him and not me. Yesterday morning, I heard them having sex in his room and I absolutely cannot take it anymore. How do I express my discomfort with her presence without coming across as an asshole or total prude? He’s my friend, and I don’t want to risk the friendship over this, but he truly doesn’t understand how hard it is for me to be around her
 

GreenBowlerBoy69

New Member
The first thing to do is very gently and politely tell your friend about the comments the girl has been making. Then, tell him that you aren't comfortable with them having sex while you are nearby. If nothing changes, talk with your friend about the possibility of you moving out, if that is an option to you.
 

SunRex

New Member
GreenBowlerBoy69 said:
The first thing to do is very gently and politely tell your friend about the comments the girl has been making. Then, tell him that you aren't comfortable with them having sex while you are nearby. If nothing changes, talk with your friend about the possibility of you moving out, if that is an option to you.
That’s the thing, she’s never directly said anything to me. She just looks at me so smug and like she owns the world because she gets her choice of men and I get no one. It’s hard to approach him about it because I know how irrational it sounds to men like him
 

Comeonbeech

New Member
SunRex said:
GreenBowlerBoy69 said:
The first thing to do is very gently and politely tell your friend about the comments the girl has been making. Then, tell him that you aren't comfortable with them having sex while you are nearby. If nothing changes, talk with your friend about the possibility of you moving out, if that is an option to you.
That’s the thing, she’s never directly said anything to me. She just looks at me so smug and like she owns the world because she gets her choice of men and I get no one. It’s hard to approach him about it because I know how irrational it sounds to men like him
Maybe shes just not paying attention to you. So ignore her. Just let your roommate know that the loud sex makes you uncomfortable
 

Isol8

Active Member
she's definitely paying attention to you. She prefers to be there and wants to live there, but she doesn't have the right to, and the only person who can and would protest her being there is you. She doesn't pay rent, but she takes up space and is an additional person around. the more people you live with, the less access you have to things and the smaller a place becomes. She gives you attitude / a negative vibe to make you feel small, make you feel like the outsider who doesn't belong, so you either move out or keep quiet. I can't give any advice on how to approach the matter, but it's far from irrational to protest this; it happens all the time, 'dude, your girlfriend is practically living here' is probably said every 7 seconds in the united states. you have every right, unless you're only paying for a 3rd of the rent, to ask for a limit on how often she is there. Or if things are getting serious with them, yeah, they should get their own place, no bad feelings. But good for you dude for not being mad at your boy and wanting to make sure you guys stay friends.
 

albie

Well-Known Member
BANNED
It's just in your mind...possibly. Of course you may be picking up her facial body language.

Try not to look at her.

Or move out.
 

lordoftheincels

Well-Known Member
Staff Member
Lounge member
SunRex said:
I’m 26, and live with an old friend. We’ve been friends since we were kids, and at first we were on the same playing field, but as we got older, he began having luck with women, while I did not. He’s an attractive, tall, white guy, so he’s pulling some pretty attractive women. Recently, he got a new girlfriend who spends all her free time here and it makes me insanely upset. It’s like this girl is rubbing it in my face that she wants someone like him and not me. Yesterday morning, I heard them having sex in his room and I absolutely cannot take it anymore. How do I express my discomfort with her presence without coming across as an asshole or total prude? He’s my friend, and I don’t want to risk the friendship over this, but he truly doesn’t understand how hard it is for me to be around her
She sounds like a c*nt. Don't be a beta and move out, stand your territory.

My advice is get her some pot. Pot makes women less bitchy and asexual. See if the pot will make her have sex with you. If not...at least you tried. If you do manage to get laid and your friend gets mad , just tell him you were sick of being a virgin and had no choice. Hopefully he ain't one of those Scarface types who gets butthurt with rage.

Also...what does this so-called friend do for you. Do you favors? Give you car rides? Does he ever try to be your wingman or hook you up? Do you play videogames together or share hobbies? If the answer is no then I would stop wasting time with that guy because there is no benefit to it.

Also my gut tells me she wants to have sex with you. Normally women are cold and distant to people they don't want to have sex with. Her bullying you is likely some kind of power fantasy in which you suddenly become alpha and dominate her.
 
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