How to accept that I'm never going to have love

WelcomeToMyDNA

I am who I am and I can be no other
I honestly think that something happened in my mothers womb that created me by mistake. I think my life is shitty because it's the universe's way of telling me to "fuck off and die already". I am being punished for existing. I cannot do the simplest tasks (i.e driving a car, talking to other humans, learning simple tasks, smiling, joking, showing emotions) and it destroys me. I am physically repulsing to look at. I have no social skills. I am short. I am a loser. I am a failure. I am an incel. I am fucked. I wish I never existed. I try to cope and find different materialistic goods to make me happy, but I can't. I am lacking love. I am lacking intimacy. These things will I will never be able to experience and it fucking tears me apart inside and makes me cry. I'm 23 years old and I've never experienced ANYTHING in life. I'll be 30 in a few years and have nothing to show for it. Why do some people excel at life and others fail? Is it fate? Is it just the way things are meant to be? What is it? How can I find peace in this shit life of constant emotional pain?
 

ortharzeal

EteRnal Evil.
Swallow the blackpill already.


Love is only for the best men like Chad.

Everything else you can get if you try hard enough, but incels always have to invest a lot more resources and time than other people. Life is not fair. No victory except Pyrrhic victory when you're incel. Incels can't win.

If you can't make the necessary sacrifices, don't even bother. LDAR. For us the costs for everything in this life are ridiculous and absurd, therefore nobody will judge you for giving up. Here because it's commonplace and outside because nobody cares about you there.

If you don't want to quit, try harder, estimate the peak of your abilities and decide whether it's all worth it or not.

In normiespeak, no pain no gain.
 

WelcomeToMyDNA

I am who I am and I can be no other
tremor said:
Swallow the blackpill already.


Love is only for the best men like Chad.

Everything else you can get if you try hard enough, but incels always have to invest a lot more resources and time than other people. Life is not fair. No victory except Pyrrhic victory when you're incel. Incels can't win.

If you can't make the necessary sacrifices, don't even bother. LDAR. For us the costs for everything in this life are ridiculous and absurd, therefore nobody will judge you for giving up. Here because it's commonplace and outside because nobody cares about you there.

If you don't want to quit, try harder, estimate the peak of your abilities and decide whether it's all worth it or not.

In normiespeak, no pain no gain.

You're right, though. I can't win. I just wish I could be at peace with knowing this. It just sucks that I get one life and shit has to be this way. I guess giving up is not so bad. I'll just be a loser to the end of my days. Probably be homeless soon as well. No car. No girlfriend. No love. No anything. What a shit existence.
 

ortharzeal

EteRnal Evil.
WelcomeToMyDNA said:
You're right, though. I can't win. I just wish I could be at peace with knowing this. It just sucks that I get one life and shit has to be this way. I guess giving up is not so bad. I'll just be a loser to the end of my days. Probably be homeless soon as well. No car. No girlfriend. No love. No anything. What a shit existence.
From this post, you still care about your situation. This means you could try fixing it.

It will be hard, but once you succeed in some thing, even a minor one, and feel you're in charge, it will become a lot easier emotionally to carry on. If you never experienced that, my message will most likelybe of no use to you though.
 

WelcomeToMyDNA

I am who I am and I can be no other
tremor said:
WelcomeToMyDNA said:
You're right, though. I can't win. I just wish I could be at peace with knowing this. It just sucks that I get one life and shit has to be this way. I guess giving up is not so bad. I'll just be a loser to the end of my days. Probably be homeless soon as well. No car. No girlfriend. No love. No anything. What a shit existence.
From this post, you still care about your situation. This means you could try fixing it.

It will be hard, but once you succeed in some thing, even a minor one, and feel you're in charge, it will become a lot easier emotionally to carry on. If you never experienced that, my message will most likelybe of no use to you though.
Thank you. I'll try one more time at life. If I fail again, then I'm done and I give up on all.
 

ortharzeal

EteRnal Evil.
WelcomeToMyDNA said:
Thank you. I'll try one more time at life. If I fail again, then I'm done and I give up on all.
Another way to think about it. There's nothing else to do except trying tbh. LDAR will become too boring at some point and the longer you LDAR the more painful coming back to life will feel.

You'll probably have to force yourself out of LDAR to work anyway.
 

WelcomeToMyDNA

I am who I am and I can be no other
tremor said:
WelcomeToMyDNA said:
Thank you. I'll try one more time at life. If I fail again, then I'm done and I give up on all.
Another way to think about it. There's nothing else to do except trying tbh. LDAR will become too boring at some point and the longer you LDAR the more painful coming back to life will feel.

You'll probably have to force yourself out of LDAR to work anyway.

Why do incels have to try extra hard at life when shit seems to come so easily to everyone else?
 

ortharzeal

EteRnal Evil.
WelcomeToMyDNA said:
Why do incels have to try extra hard at life when shit seems to come so easily to everyone else?
Non-outcasts happily collaborate with each other. Incels are never seen as equals, as potential fellows. Expenses of isolation can be ridiculous, especially if one is forced into that.

Also normans often aren't quite honest. They tell each other about existing loopholes they know, they trick naive nice guys who are dumber than themselves and often they just feign real achievements and merit.

What's more, even in case a norman really tries hard and earns the rewards he gets, you usually can't prove or disprove that. It's impossible to watch everyone all the time, unless you are FBI.

To top it all, quite a few incels have poor health, which makes all things a lot more complicated in obvious ways. They say good and bad genes come in packages.
 

WelcomeToMyDNA

I am who I am and I can be no other
tremor said:
WelcomeToMyDNA said:
Why do incels have to try extra hard at life when shit seems to come so easily to everyone else?
Non-outcasts happily collaborate with each other. Incels are never seen as equals, as potential fellows. Expenses of isolation can be ridiculous, especially if one is forced into that.

Also normans often aren't quite honest. They tell each other about existing loopholes they know, they trick naive nice guys who are dumber than themselves and often they just feign real achievements and merit.

What's more, even in case a norman really tries hard and earns the rewards he gets, you usually can't prove or disprove that. It's impossible to watch everyone all the time, unless you are FBI.

To top it all, quite a few incels have poor health, which makes all things a lot more complicated in obvious ways. They say good and bad genes come in packages.

So incels are just fucked in every way possible huh?
 

Nojudgement

Incels.Net Novice
WelcomeToMyDNA said:
I honestly think that something happened in my mothers womb that created me by mistake. I think my life is shitty because it's the universe's way of telling me to "fuck off and die already". I am being punished for existing. I cannot do the simplest tasks (i.e driving a car, talking to other humans, learning simple tasks, smiling, joking, showing emotions) and it destroys me. I am physically repulsing to look at. I have no social skills. I am short. I am a loser. I am a failure. I am an incel. I am fucked. I wish I never existed. I try to cope and find different materialistic goods to make me happy, but I can't. I am lacking love. I am lacking intimacy. These things will I will never be able to experience and it fucking tears me apart inside and makes me cry. I'm 23 years old and I've never experienced ANYTHING in life. I'll be 30 in a few years and have nothing to show for it. Why do some people excel at life and others fail? Is it fate? Is it just the way things are meant to be? What is it? How can I find peace in this shit life of constant emotional pain?

AND

Thank you. I'll try one more time at life. If I fail again, then I'm done and I give up on all.
You're in a very tough place by the sounds of things. I think you might also be falling into a kind of mental trap though in terms of dealing with things. What I mean is that you're piling everything bad together and then saying you will try one more time at life then give up. This is putting you on target for a real challenge and likely failure, not because you're necessarily unworthy or useless, but because the goal is too big and mixed up.

Like if I go to work and I have, for example, 3 projects, 10 emails, 2 meetings, 6 documents to write, a monthly plan to make plus I want to talk to my colleagues and I'm worried if that client will say yes to the contract. There's no way I can do all of those things in one day and if I try to do it, I'll probably not achieve most of them because I'll get distracted by each one ("Damn I should be doing XYZ instead of ABC") and I'll get depressed because there are too many things to manage. Instead I have to make some kind of organisation and decide where to focus the limited time and energy I have. Nobody is going to effectively manage these things, even if they are super organised, productive and all other parts of life are in balance.

Now imagine all those things plus not feeling emotionally good or happy. That is going to make it all a whole lot worse and harder.

What about trying the following.

Step one is to list the problems. I'll try it in order from your post and only the things that are clearly definable

1 - Can't drive
2 - Hard to talk to people
3 - Difficult to learn things
4 - Smiling, joking, emotional expression
5 - Physically ugly
6 - Short
7 - No romantic relationship

Step two is to remove things that you can't fix in any kind of short term as they aren't worth spending energy on.

i.e. Shortness is what it is. You can't change it. I'm 5'3" and there's no way to adjust it. Therefore I don't focus on it if possible.
Physical looks etc. are also quite fixed. You can adjust clothing, hairstyle, work out more and even have plastic surgery but those are either quite minor in their effects relative to looks (the first ones) or expensive (the last). We skip this set of things for now.

Which leaves us with a list of the following

1 - Can't drive
2 - Hard to talk to people
3 - Difficult to learn things
4 - Smiling, joking, emotional expression
5 - No romantic relationship

Of those five, you then have to decide how valuable they are and how achievable they are. This will be quite subjective of course but you get some mental organisation this way. Here's my example on a 1-10 rating for V = Valuable, A = Achievable and trying to be balanced in it so I'm not too optimistic or pessimistic.

Driving: V = 7 , A = 6
Talk to people: V = 8 , A = 4
Learn things: V = 9 , A = 3
Smile etc.: V = 8 , A = 4
Romance: V = 9.5 , A = 2

Once you have your list written out, then you decide which order is the most likely to help you move forwards and achieve things. My thoughts would be something like:

1 - Driving. Gives you freedom, confidence, maturity, no embarassment of parents picking you up etc. Also, more importantly it's the most achievable one. This is a mechanical skill that you can learn, even if it's hard.
2 - Talking & emotions. Being more comfortable around people is going to help with a lot of things, as is expressing emotion more naturally. I put it here for the combined high value, even though the achievability is lower. It takes a lot to learn how to interact with others and be more expressive etc. if it's not something you naturally have.
3 - Learning things. High value activity but hard to achieve. I put this as point 3 because I think that having more comfort with talking to other people will make you a more relaxed and less anxious person. That lowered stress is likely to help you with learning.
4 - Romance. Very high value but low achievability. Plus, the more things you have from the list above, the more achievable this one becomes. If you can drive, dating is easier. If you can have a good conversation and show emotions, people are likely to connect with you more. I'm not going to pretend that If you do 1,2,3 then Romance achievability will go to 9 out of 10. Maybe it becomes more like a 3-4, but that's still way better than now, plus the rest of your life is better even if you don't get romance.


After you've decided on your order of goals, then you figure out what options you have to get towards the result you're looking for. I'll just write a few ideas to save this being an even bigger wall of text :)

Driving - Spend 3-4 hours a week practicing with your dad. Pay for professional lessons. Try driving simulators. Visualise driving and dealing with problems. Take the bus/get a ride and say to yourself in your head what you'd do if you were driving ("I'd check the corner. Change gears. Signal left. Watch for pedestrians etc.")

Talking - Join some kind of activity club. Make it a goal to talk to someone there for at least five minutes about that activity. Nothing bigger, just to get started with a topic. Try to have one extra conversation with a coworker each day about a random topic. Attend a book club so you already have something to discuss (the book) without pressure. Go to a sports game and talk about it with someone sitting nearby.

Etc.


Then once you've got a bunch of options for each thing, you start with the first priority on your list (e.g. driving) and do those things as much as you can to get towards the goal. Try not to think about other goals (talking, learning, romance) until you've completed the goal of driving. Don't get distracted from it if you can help it.

I suspect that you will be able to achieve that goal in a shorter time than you might expect. It won't happen overnight but focusing on a single task will give you way more results than trying and struggling with everything at once, especially because the at once feels like a horrible Catch 22 (need a GF to feel happy and talk to people, can't get a GF until I drive, can't drive until I'm confident, can't be confident until I have a GF repeat repeat)



Don't get me wrong. This is not going to be something that fixes life in 1 week and makes all problems go away. It's going to take time but when you look back in a few weeks or couple of months the change will seem much bigger. Like parents who don't see the kids growing but relatives who meet them after 3 months are shocked.

Or

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3nZSHBAvDNI


What are your thoughts on this (if you read to the end hehe)?
 

albie

Incels.Net Regular
At the end of the day...it's just minge. A funnel of flesh attached to a thing that only cares about itself.
 

EyeH8me

Incels.Net Novice
All you need to do is make money if you want to get laid. That’s all women really care about. Who wants a relationship? Too much trouble and they’re always one sided on the emotional aspect. You have feelings for her while she has feelings for your wallet. So make money or give the illusion of money. I have made up fake business cards before. Saying I was a doctor. I wore a pilots uniform before that I rented from a costume shop. Ive been laid on these ways. I don’t make any real money but I do ok. Not enough to snag any 8-10’s with my real life. But I’ve bamged out a few 8-10’s using fakery. Don’t concern yourself with your looks or things you cannot control. Just let them think you have money and the rest is easy street.
 

StoicNihilist

Disillusioned Misanthrope. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
The philosophy of Stoicism and Nihilism has helped me cope a little. But we're only human, we were not meant to live as outcasts. Being constantly mocked, ridiculed, and isolated will break anybody down eventually.
 

StoicNihilist

Disillusioned Misanthrope. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
WelcomeToMyDNA said:
I honestly think that something happened in my mothers womb that created me by mistake. I think my life is shitty because it's the universe's way of telling me to "fuck off and die already". I am being punished for existing. I cannot do the simplest tasks (i.e driving a car, talking to other humans, learning simple tasks, smiling, joking, showing emotions) and it destroys me. I am physically repulsing to look at. I have no social skills. I am short. I am a loser. I am a failure. I am an incel. I am fucked. I wish I never existed. I try to cope and find different materialistic goods to make me happy, but I can't. I am lacking love. I am lacking intimacy. These things will I will never be able to experience and it fucking tears me apart inside and makes me cry. I'm 23 years old and I've never experienced ANYTHING in life. I'll be 30 in a few years and have nothing to show for it. Why do some people excel at life and others fail? Is it fate? Is it just the way things are meant to be? What is it? How can I find peace in this shit life of constant emotional pain?
Holy shit dude we might as well be twins. My mom ruined my chance at ever having a normal life by drinking and doing drugs while she was pregnant with me. It made me an ugly, socially retarded outcast that has done nothing but fail in the two and a half decades ive been on Earth. In fact, I made a post and joined the forum not long ago describing my predicament.
 

EyeH8me

Incels.Net Novice
StoicNihilist said:
WelcomeToMyDNA said:
I honestly think that something happened in my mothers womb that created me by mistake. I think my life is shitty because it's the universe's way of telling me to "fuck off and die already". I am being punished for existing. I cannot do the simplest tasks (i.e driving a car, talking to other humans, learning simple tasks, smiling, joking, showing emotions) and it destroys me. I am physically repulsing to look at. I have no social skills. I am short. I am a loser. I am a failure. I am an incel. I am fucked. I wish I never existed. I try to cope and find different materialistic goods to make me happy, but I can't. I am lacking love. I am lacking intimacy. These things will I will never be able to experience and it fucking tears me apart inside and makes me cry. I'm 23 years old and I've never experienced ANYTHING in life. I'll be 30 in a few years and have nothing to show for it. Why do some people excel at life and others fail? Is it fate? Is it just the way things are meant to be? What is it? How can I find peace in this shit life of constant emotional pain?
Holy shit dude we might as well be twins. My mom ruined my chance at ever having a normal life by drinking and doing drugs while she was pregnant with me. It made me an ugly, socially retarded outcast that has done nothing but fail in the two and a half decades ive been on Earth. In fact, I made a post and joined the forum not long ago describing my predicament.
Link so I can read?
 

StoicNihilist

Disillusioned Misanthrope. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
EyeH8me said:
StoicNihilist said:
WelcomeToMyDNA said:
I honestly think that something happened in my mothers womb that created me by mistake. I think my life is shitty because it's the universe's way of telling me to "fuck off and die already". I am being punished for existing. I cannot do the simplest tasks (i.e driving a car, talking to other humans, learning simple tasks, smiling, joking, showing emotions) and it destroys me. I am physically repulsing to look at. I have no social skills. I am short. I am a loser. I am a failure. I am an incel. I am fucked. I wish I never existed. I try to cope and find different materialistic goods to make me happy, but I can't. I am lacking love. I am lacking intimacy. These things will I will never be able to experience and it fucking tears me apart inside and makes me cry. I'm 23 years old and I've never experienced ANYTHING in life. I'll be 30 in a few years and have nothing to show for it. Why do some people excel at life and others fail? Is it fate? Is it just the way things are meant to be? What is it? How can I find peace in this shit life of constant emotional pain?
Holy shit dude we might as well be twins. My mom ruined my chance at ever having a normal life by drinking and doing drugs while she was pregnant with me. It made me an ugly, socially retarded outcast that has done nothing but fail in the two and a half decades ive been on Earth. In fact, I made a post and joined the forum not long ago describing my predicament.
Link so I can read?
https://incels.net/viewtopic.php?f=13&t=480

Here you go fam.
 

Brohan91

Incels.Net Junior
"I'm 23 and I'll be 30 in a few years"???? Fuck no son, if you're about 20, another 10 yrs is in fact 50% of your life. I dunno what your other issues are with personal appearance are about, but you've got a lot of time left on the clock, guarantee if you change your outlook you can get pussy before you're 25. Youve just been brainwashed by a bunch of morons who want you to give up on ever having sex cause theyve done the same and want some friends to assure them it's normal/the world is stacked against them, it's like joining a fucking cult. I'm happy to give you tips on how to improve your image (that is.not my profession and I certainly wouldn't expect any monetary compensation as such) just reach out to me here, but plz for the love of God don't buy into this shit..... at such a young age. I barely had sex at all before 24 and have had a very healthy sex life since. Things change, you're young....I have one friend who is older than me, had never had sex except.wirh a prostіtute (highly.recommend if.youve no other options, at the least it will help with the nerves/you'll know what to do when time.comes) prior to turning 28. Now has a GF and all that garbage....yall are too young to be thinking like this, expected to find a bunch of bitter 40 yr olds here, but instead it's a bunch of fucking 15-25 year olds who are insecure they haven't had sex yet?wtf why y'all just gonna throw in the towel like it ain't shit and then complain you never getting laid, in my experience ppl who weren't getting laid in high school end up way better off because at that age you're not really mature enough to handle the ramifications of sexual relations
 

Purplelove

Incels.Net Junior
WelcomeToMyDNA said:
I honestly think that something happened in my mothers womb that created me by mistake. I think my life is shitty because it's the universe's way of telling me to "fuck off and die already". I am being punished for existing. I cannot do the simplest tasks (i.e driving a car, talking to other humans, learning simple tasks, smiling, joking, showing emotions) and it destroys me. I am physically repulsing to look at. I have no social skills. I am short. I am a loser. I am a failure. I am an incel. I am fucked. I wish I never existed. I try to cope and find different materialistic goods to make me happy, but I can't. I am lacking love. I am lacking intimacy. These things will I will never be able to experience and it fuсking tears me apart inside and makes me cry. I'm 23 years old and I've never experienced ANYTHING in life. I'll be 30 in a few years and have nothing to show for it. Why do some people excel at life and others fail? Is it fate? Is it just the way things are meant to be? What is it? How can I find peace in this ѕhit life of constant emotional pain?
I could help with social skills and emotion regulation, I actually teach these kinds of workshops.
 
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