How did you discover Incels?

Nyx

Incels.Net Novice
Hello there.
I have a few general questions - how did you discover Incels?
Also, do you think being an Incel impacts your life outside of the romantical aspect of it, e. g. your work life, or friendships?
Thanks to anyone who's willing to answer.
 

lordoftheincels

Incels.Net Master
There are some threads that discuss this, not sure how good the search engine is.

Incels face discrimination at jobs if they come out of the closet as incel. Even if they hide their incel-status, they still face looks discrimination for being subChad. They also have a harder time social maxxing, society generally avoids incels due to their bitter jaded attitudes. Society has no compassion and expects incels to be positive, scorns them if they are negative. Incels are also given lower status amongst males, due to it being looked down upon of unable to get a girlfriend. They are then assumed they need to improve their personality and that something is wrong with them.
 

love

Femoid
lordoftheincels said:
There are some threads that discuss this, not sure how good the search engine is.

Incels face discrimination at jobs if they come out of the closet as incel. Even if they hide their incel-status, they still face looks discrimination for being subChad. They also have a harder time social maxxing, society generally avoids incels due to their bitter jaded attitudes. Society has no compassion and expects incels to be positive, scorns them if they are negative. Incels are also given lower status amongst males, due to it being looked down upon of unable to get a girlfriend. They are then assumed they need to improve their personality and that something is wrong with them.
Is that simple that people usually disclose at work? I’m not sure that disclosure of incel status is really needed at work because it doesn’t affect the work.
 

Nyx

Incels.Net Novice
lordoftheincels said:
There are some threads that discuss this, not sure how good the search engine is.

Incels face discrimination at jobs if they come out of the closet as incel. Even if they hide their incel-status, they still face looks discrimination for being subChad. They also have a harder time social maxxing, society generally avoids incels due to their bitter jaded attitudes. Society has no compassion and expects incels to be positive, scorns them if they are negative. Incels are also given lower status amongst males, due to it being looked down upon of unable to get a girlfriend. They are then assumed they need to improve their personality and that something is wrong with them.

First off, I am sorry, I didn’t mean to create a topic that already exists. I guess I didn’t look hard enough.

Obviously I am not an Incel myself, which means that I can never fully understand the hardships that you face in general. But I think I can imagine them to an extend, because throughout my life I was blessed enough to go through some hard times myself, based on the fact that I am an apparent „weird person“.
The general consensus, while researching the topic, really does seem to be that Incels are either very unhygienic or have an awful personality, yeah. Which, just from browsing around, seems to be a wrong generalisation. I am pretty sure there are some, that really do have a horrible personality, but to be fair, there are enough „normal people“ that have one themselves.
And I personally do think, judging people solely on what they read on the Internet is pretty wrong.
In what way do you think people need to change their attitude towards Incels and in life in general?
(Also, excuse the paragraph, I tend to write a lot.)
 

Nyx

Incels.Net Novice
love said:
lordoftheincels said:
There are some threads that discuss this, not sure how good the search engine is.

Incels face discrimination at jobs if they come out of the closet as incel. Even if they hide their incel-status, they still face looks discrimination for being subChad. They also have a harder time social maxxing, society generally avoids incels due to their bitter jaded attitudes. Society has no compassion and expects incels to be positive, scorns them if they are negative. Incels are also given lower status amongst males, due to it being looked down upon of unable to get a girlfriend. They are then assumed they need to improve their personality and that something is wrong with them.
Is that simple that people usually disclose at work? I’m not sure that disclosure of incel status is really needed at work because it doesn’t affect the work.
I think it might be based on looks? Generally, people tend to treat others differently, if they aren’t „pretty enough“ or look somewhat strange.
Plus, maybe some Incels inform their co-workers after some time? But then again, I don’t know.
 

lordoftheincels

Incels.Net Master
Nyx said:
lordoftheincels said:
There are some threads that discuss this, not sure how good the search engine is.

Incels face discrimination at jobs if they come out of the closet as incel. Even if they hide their incel-status, they still face looks discrimination for being subChad. They also have a harder time social maxxing, society generally avoids incels due to their bitter jaded attitudes. Society has no compassion and expects incels to be positive, scorns them if they are negative. Incels are also given lower status amongst males, due to it being looked down upon of unable to get a girlfriend. They are then assumed they need to improve their personality and that something is wrong with them.

First off, I am sorry, I didn’t mean to create a topic that already exists. I guess I didn’t look hard enough.

Obviously I am not an Incel myself, which means that I can never fully understand the hardships that you face in general. But I think I can imagine them to an extend, because throughout my life I was blessed enough to go through some hard times myself, based on the fact that I am an apparent „weird person“.
The general consensus, while researching the topic, really does seem to be that Incels are either very unhygienic or have an awful personality, yeah. Which, just from browsing around, seems to be a wrong generalisation. I am pretty sure there are some, that really do have a horrible personality, but to be fair, there are enough „normal people“ that have one themselves.
And I personally do think, judging people solely on what they read on the Internet is pretty wrong.
In what way do you think people need to change their attitude towards Incels and in life in general?
(Also, excuse the paragraph, I tend to write a lot.)
Well, like you said. First people need to assume that incels have decent hygiene and decent personality.

What actually happens is this.

Incel has decent hygiene, a nice and kind personality. They are constantly rejected by women for their shy beta attitudes. They are nothing but nice, and constantly get rejected over and over. They become bitter over the years and feel it is "rigged" against them, or a curse. They read redpill news and redpill teaches them to be toxic alpha males. Then normans say "Incels are toxic, only you were nice you'd get laid.". Eventually they take black pill, and become bitter, dark, and negative. Then normans say "just be positive and you'd get laid." At this point, the incel stops caring as much about hygiene, which normans then say to improve hygiene.
 

Nyx

Incels.Net Novice
lordoftheincels said:
Nyx said:
lordoftheincels said:
There are some threads that discuss this, not sure how good the search engine is.

Incels face discrimination at jobs if they come out of the closet as incel. Even if they hide their incel-status, they still face looks discrimination for being subChad. They also have a harder time social maxxing, society generally avoids incels due to their bitter jaded attitudes. Society has no compassion and expects incels to be positive, scorns them if they are negative. Incels are also given lower status amongst males, due to it being looked down upon of unable to get a girlfriend. They are then assumed they need to improve their personality and that something is wrong with them.

First off, I am sorry, I didn’t mean to create a topic that already exists. I guess I didn’t look hard enough.

Obviously I am not an Incel myself, which means that I can never fully understand the hardships that you face in general. But I think I can imagine them to an extend, because throughout my life I was blessed enough to go through some hard times myself, based on the fact that I am an apparent „weird person“.
The general consensus, while researching the topic, really does seem to be that Incels are either very unhygienic or have an awful personality, yeah. Which, just from browsing around, seems to be a wrong generalisation. I am pretty sure there are some, that really do have a horrible personality, but to be fair, there are enough „normal people“ that have one themselves.
And I personally do think, judging people solely on what they read on the Internet is pretty wrong.
In what way do you think people need to change their attitude towards Incels and in life in general?
(Also, excuse the paragraph, I tend to write a lot.)
Well, like you said. First people need to assume that incels have decent hygiene and decent personality.

What actually happens is this.

Incel has decent hygiene, a nice and kind personality. They are constantly rejected by women for their shy beta attitudes. They are nothing but nice, and constantly get rejected over and over. They become bitter over the years and feel it is "rigged" against them, or a curse. They read redpill news and redpill teaches them to be toxic alpha males. Then normans say "Incels are toxic, only you were nice you'd get laid.". Eventually they take black pill, and become bitter, dark, and negative. Then normans say "just be positive and you'd get laid." At this point, the incel stops caring as much about hygiene, which normans then say to improve hygiene.
Which in that case is utter bullshit. The whole cycle I mean. Because if someone as bitter as someone that’s black pilled, people should kinda know it’s about more than „just hygiene“ imo.
I think having a nice and kind personality is actually somewhat tricky these days. If you’re nice, people walk over you, if you’re an asshole, people don’t want to associate themselves with you and don’t want to be your friend or partner. That’s at least my personal experience here.
But as you said, there’s this inherit thing that Incels are „just nice to you because they want to get laid”. Which probably can be true in some cases, yeah. But not every Incel that talks to a girl wants to get laid by her?
And on the other hand there are plenty of women who are just nice to gain something, but I feel like that’s not that much talked about? At least not in a negative light anymore, because nowadays it seems like if you’re being somewhat manipulative (I only was nice to him so he buys me dinner for example) it’s actually viewed as “empowering” among women. But when a guy does the same, he’s a jerk. Well. If he doesn’t look like a model he’s probably seen as even more of a jerk.
 

lordoftheincels

Incels.Net Master
Exactly. Women are manipulative narcissists, but somehow invert the reality to say there are more male narcs than females.

If an incel is a naturally nice, shy guy, who has feelings for a woman, a woman will reject him instantly and then justify it by shaming his natural male feelings and emotions, saying how wrong it is to lust or want a girlfriend, and how he was just being nice to get laid. A more honest description is, he is naturally nice, and also naturally wants to get laid.

If he gets toxic after a while, it's mainly society to blame not incels.

Society has an attitude of never blaming themsleves. If someone shoots a school they blame guns, when they realize guns have no mind of their own, they blame mental illness. They never blame society or themselves though, they like to believe mental illness is purely genes and never blame it on society, bullying, rejection, or making it illegal to be male.

If you are bullied, rejected, and told it is illegal to be male your whole life, you are the one considered crazy not the ones who live n artificial cities based on fictitious things,
 

Nyx

Incels.Net Novice
To be fair, I think generally speaking, women tend to be more manipulative. It’s just way easier to be manipulating, when you are female. That’s not to hate on women, but I do actually believe that. Because even if you’re not “that” pretty, you’re still a women and many people have this natural instinct of wanting to protect a female from getting hurt, thus would do something for her quicker than for a man. I think. I have no actual evidence tho, it’s just kinda my observation.

Obviously. If someone has feelings for another one and is not asexual, they eventually want to get laid lmao. I mean, that’s how it works. But it’s made out to be a whole “Incel talks to female JUST to get laid”. But I am pretty positive an Incel also has the ability to just be friends with the opposite gender. It just always sounds like you guys basically see someone with a vag and instantly want to fuck that.

Mhm, that’s true. Although I can’t relate in the exact same way, I can relate. Constantly getting shamed for the same thing or things (that you can’t even change and are not your fault) just creates something in your head. It made me bitter and somewhat despise society in general, but obviously that is all my fault, because how could society ever be wrong with something? “Feel free to be yourself, as long as it’s in the right way.”
 

Kolibri

Destroyer of Soy
Found it by searching "incels" on Google. Before my last ghosting, I was reluctant to call myself an incel since I didn't fit the stereotype of what one is supposed to be (ie a fat basement dwelling potential serіal kіller). After doing my own research I figured out that other incels are just like me. They might take care of themselves and have certain things going for them, but it's not enough to find love or even hookups. I have constant bad luck that extends past lack of love too.
 

Nyx

Incels.Net Novice
notheregoaway said:
Found it by searching "incels" on Google. Before my last ghosting, I was reluctant to call myself an incel since I didn't fit the stereotype of what one is supposed to be (ie a fat basement dwelling potential serіal kіller). After doing my own research I figured out that other incels are just like me. They might take care of themselves and have certain things going for them, but it's not enough to find love or even hookups. I have constant bad luck that extends past lack of love too.
Did you ever stumble over that terminology beforehand? I for example (if I remember correctly), stumbled over that term on Reddit and googled it afterwards.
What do you think is the main reason that guys who, like you, have certain things going for them are still unlucky in that department?
 

Kolibri

Destroyer of Soy
Nyx said:
notheregoaway said:
Found it by searching "incels" on Google. Before my last ghosting, I was reluctant to call myself an incel since I didn't fit the stereotype of what one is supposed to be (ie a fat basement dwelling potential serіal kіller). After doing my own research I figured out that other incels are just like me. They might take care of themselves and have certain things going for them, but it's not enough to find love or even hookups. I have constant bad luck that extends past lack of love too.
Did you ever stumble over that terminology beforehand? I for example (if I remember correctly), stumbled over that term on Reddit and googled it afterwards.
What do you think is the main reason that guys who, like you, have certain things going for them are still unlucky in that department?
I heard the word "incel" for the first time around the time of ER's shooting. I didn't know exactly what that was so I looked it up. I was surprised to hear that ER was one of those since he had some status. I would think most incels wouldn't have status or looks to back themselves up.

I think some incels are just really unlucky. There are some who are ugly or weird looking enough where it affects their dating, too, though. I find that I fall into both categories there. Society dealt me a hell of a bad hand.
 

Nyx

Incels.Net Novice
Excuse my lack of knowledge but who was ER? I mean, I assume you’re speaking of a shooting in the US, right? (I tried to google to so I don’t look dumb, but Google didn’t want to help me on this one, sorry.)

I mean true - some people are ugly. I don’t want to sugar coat that. But I do believe that most of you guys do look quite decent. I am also pretty sure this applies to you too. Obviously I can’t judge that and even if I would, my judgement is not the standard either. Beauty standards are in general quite.. trash. But that’s for another discussion.
I do think some of you guys lack a heck ton of social skills (not all, mind you). This goes without saying that “just be confident” or “just learn to interact” are NOT the answers here lmao. Just an observation. But the lack of social skills do play well into the “weirdo” standard that Incels have.
 

ortharzeal

EteRnal Evil.
Nyx said:
Excuse my lack of knowledge but who was ER? I mean, I assume you’re speaking of a shooting in the US, right? (I tried to google to so I don’t look dumb, but Google didn’t want to help me on this one, sorry.)

I mean true - some people are ugly. I don’t want to sugar coat that. But I do believe that most of you guys do look quite decent. I am also pretty sure this applies to you too. Obviously I can’t judge that and even if I would, my judgement is not the standard either. Beauty standards are in general quite.. trash. But that’s for another discussion.
I do think some of you guys lack a heck ton of social skills (not all, mind you). This goes without saying that “just be confident” or “just learn to interact” are NOT the answers here lmao. Just an observation. But the lack of social skills do play well into the “weirdo” standard that Incels have.
Shame on you, everyone knows the supreme gentleman Ellіot Rodger.
 

Nyx

Incels.Net Novice
tremor said:
Nyx said:
Excuse my lack of knowledge but who was ER? I mean, I assume you’re speaking of a shooting in the US, right? (I tried to google to so I don’t look dumb, but Google didn’t want to help me on this one, sorry.)

I mean true - some people are ugly. I don’t want to sugar coat that. But I do believe that most of you guys do look quite decent. I am also pretty sure this applies to you too. Obviously I can’t judge that and even if I would, my judgement is not the standard either. Beauty standards are in general quite.. trash. But that’s for another discussion.
I do think some of you guys lack a heck ton of social skills (not all, mind you). This goes without saying that “just be confident” or “just learn to interact” are NOT the answers here lmao. Just an observation. But the lack of social skills do play well into the “weirdo” standard that Incels have.
Shame on you, everyone knows the supreme gentleman Ellіot Rodger.
THAT DUDE. I have seen his face and heard about that incident, but I didn’t know is name. Thanks.
 

Kolibri

Destroyer of Soy
Nyx said:
Excuse my lack of knowledge but who was ER? I mean, I assume you’re speaking of a shooting in the US, right? (I tried to google to so I don’t look dumb, but Google didn’t want to help me on this one, sorry.)

I mean true - some people are ugly. I don’t want to sugar coat that. But I do believe that most of you guys do look quite decent. I am also pretty sure this applies to you too. Obviously I can’t judge that and even if I would, my judgement is not the standard either. Beauty standards are in general quite.. trash. But that’s for another discussion.
I do think some of you guys lack a heck ton of social skills (not all, mind you). This goes without saying that “just be confident” or “just learn to interact” are NOT the answers here lmao. Just an observation. But the lack of social skills do play well into the “weirdo” standard that Incels have.
My social skills are fine. It's my face and the fact that I don't act like a stereotypical representation of my race that are the main problems I have.

Social skills mean very little in the grand scheme of things, unless you weren't blessed with good looks. Even if you socialmax it will still end with people thinking you're creepy anyway.
 

Nyx

Incels.Net Novice
notheregoaway said:
Nyx said:
Excuse my lack of knowledge but who was ER? I mean, I assume you’re speaking of a shooting in the US, right? (I tried to google to so I don’t look dumb, but Google didn’t want to help me on this one, sorry.)

I mean true - some people are ugly. I don’t want to sugar coat that. But I do believe that most of you guys do look quite decent. I am also pretty sure this applies to you too. Obviously I can’t judge that and even if I would, my judgement is not the standard either. Beauty standards are in general quite.. trash. But that’s for another discussion.
I do think some of you guys lack a heck ton of social skills (not all, mind you). This goes without saying that “just be confident” or “just learn to interact” are NOT the answers here lmao. Just an observation. But the lack of social skills do play well into the “weirdo” standard that Incels have.
My social skills are fine. It's my face and the fact that I don't act like a stereotypical representation of my race that are the main problems I have.

Social skills mean very little in the grand scheme of things, unless you weren't blessed with good looks. Even if you socialmax it will still end with people thinking you're creepy anyway.
Obviously you can speak on that topic more than me. I was referring more to what I have seen, I suppose. And I do know that a few of my female friends have this thing where they think every Male that behaves sorta awkward is a weirdo and a creep. But as I said, I know that social skills aren’t everything anyways.

I don’t want to sound strange, but I feel like.. hm. I think the best way to put it is, that some people, even if they aren’t hideous and have, as you said “certain things going for them”, just have this “aura of strangeness”. Okay, that does sound stupid. But maybe you get what I mean? Some people are just always perceived as the weirdo, wether or not they actually are.

And since you referred to race, would it be impolite for me to ask what race you are? I mean, I ask anyways, but you don’t have to answer that.
 

Kolibri

Destroyer of Soy
Nyx said:
notheregoaway said:
Nyx said:
Excuse my lack of knowledge but who was ER? I mean, I assume you’re speaking of a shooting in the US, right? (I tried to google to so I don’t look dumb, but Google didn’t want to help me on this one, sorry.)

I mean true - some people are ugly. I don’t want to sugar coat that. But I do believe that most of you guys do look quite decent. I am also pretty sure this applies to you too. Obviously I can’t judge that and even if I would, my judgement is not the standard either. Beauty standards are in general quite.. trash. But that’s for another discussion.
I do think some of you guys lack a heck ton of social skills (not all, mind you). This goes without saying that “just be confident” or “just learn to interact” are NOT the answers here lmao. Just an observation. But the lack of social skills do play well into the “weirdo” standard that Incels have.
My social skills are fine. It's my face and the fact that I don't act like a stereotypical representation of my race that are the main problems I have.

Social skills mean very little in the grand scheme of things, unless you weren't blessed with good looks. Even if you socialmax it will still end with people thinking you're creepy anyway.
Obviously you can speak on that topic more than me. I was referring more to what I have seen, I suppose. And I do know that a few of my female friends have this thing where they think every Male that behaves sorta awkward is a weirdo and a creep. But as I said, I know that social skills aren’t everything anyways.

I don’t want to sound strange, but I feel like.. hm. I think the best way to put it is, that some people, even if they aren’t hideous and have, as you said “certain things going for them”, just have this “aura of strangeness”. Okay, that does sound stupid. But maybe you get what I mean? Some people are just always perceived as the weirdo, wether or not they actually are.

And since you referred to race, would it be impolite for me to ask what race you are? I mean, I ask anyways, but you don’t have to answer that.
I probably have that aura of strangeness myself. I don't have to do anything wrong to be perceived as a creep. For example, one time I had a customer at work who was wearing a Dragonball Z jacket. I told her that I liked her jacket and asked where she got it from. She answered me but was kinda rude about it. Then she told my manager I harassed her and almost got me fired. The security camera footage saved my job.

I have a lot of dumb stories like that. I honestly believe I'm probably more hideous than even what I think. My dad once told me that you can tell how physically attractive women find you by how they treat you. 99.9% of women so far have treated me like shit, so I know I am ugly to them. Even being a good person and improving my situation never helped me.

I met a woman who was the female version of me and even she ended up hating me and thinking I was a creep. Sometimes I wish I actually was one so I could give these people reason to believe that I am creepy.
 

Nyx

Incels.Net Novice
I mean, I am sorry to say that, but that woman sounds like a bitch. I don’t like people that accuse others of things they’ve never done and harassment is a serious thing. I am glad there was footage that proved her wrong.

Sadly that is true in many cases. People often judge others solely by their looks. Obviously optic is the first thing you see and of course there’s always a level of judgment involved in that. But I think nowadays not enough people bother and try to look underneath that shell. I don’t believe that you’re hideous. What I do think is, as you guessed yourself, that you probably come off as strange by nature. I wish I could tell you how to combat that, but sadly I haven’t found that out myself.

Really? That sounds horrible. I am sorry to hear that. Did she give you any reason?
 

Kolibri

Destroyer of Soy
Nyx said:
I mean, I am sorry to say that, but that woman sounds like a bitch. I don’t like people that accuse others of things they’ve never done and harassment is a serious thing. I am glad there was footage that proved her wrong.

Sadly that is true in many cases. People often judge others solely by their looks. Obviously optic is the first thing you see and of course there’s always a level of judgment involved in that. But I think nowadays not enough people bother and try to look underneath that shell. I don’t believe that you’re hideous. What I do think is, as you guessed yourself, that you probably come off as strange by nature. I wish I could tell you how to combat that, but sadly I haven’t found that out myself.

Really? That sounds horrible. I am sorry to hear that. Did she give you any reason?
I dunno. I don't act awkward or anything. I'm hyper aware of what I say and do. I kinda have to be, or I'd be in even deeper shit than what I am. My coworker just texted me saying that two of my coworkers (one of which I don't even know) were talking shit about me. It's just crap like that every day. And then I get reprimanded for not talking to customers or other employees enough, when the majority of them treat me as if I'm subhuman. Massive paradox there.

I've been treated quite badly by people who are kind to everyone. Well, most everyone, except me. It's a frequent occurrence, and then I get the same advice you just told me, maybe I'm around a bunch of assholes. But if I change the people I'm around, or my location, the same thing happens, without fail.

There are guys who actually are strange or even outright perverted, and they get away with being that way. So I'm not sure how my seeming strangeness is any worse than actually being that way. Only thing I can figure is that since I basically look like an alien, everything that I say or do seems strange.

It's your typical story of somebody wanting someone better. I wish it was more interesting, but it's just that.
 
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