How being superficial broke me

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Incels.Net Junior
5 years ago I was working a retail job and felt like I had the attention of at least 3 women. Girl #1 was hideous, girl #2 below average and #3 was like a stacy to me. The only one I really had a chance with was girl #1, but went for the other two instead. Girl #3 was my oneitis, and #2 grew on me. I tried to juggle both of their attention and ended up losing #2 to some bitch coworker I was training.

I had my reasons as to why I struggled to make a significant move. First off, I was in a higher position than them, and didn't want to risk losing my shitty job. And second, I have a pretty face but disgusting acne/scar ridden body which pretty much kills my confidence. Even if I made it to 2nd base, my secret would get out and I'd expect nothing less than ridicule and rejection.

The pain from even being at work was overwhelming to me to the point I just quit, couldn't even commit to my two weeks notice. A coworker that I thought had befriended me threw me a little going away party, and failed to mention both #2 and #3 were invited. I made one last attempt with nothing to lose to get a date with either of those two. Boom, rejected. I was sure to order one last pitcher of beer before leaving, acted pretty belligerent on the way out.

In the following week I was considering suіcіde, and for the first time the thought didnt even make me cry. I was so angry at myself, because i was being superficial, and should have settled for #2 or even #1. I felt like I may have hurt these women. Then again, I was probably just deluding myself, like majorly.

So yeah, I know kind of a boring story but It pretty much drove me mad for some time. All because i became what i hated the most.
 
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