Funny life stories?

supercell

5'4 subhuman
I just need a laugh, I'll start off when I was 14 before my big bro died, he was into drugs so he would allways have these tweakers over one of them this old ass homeless dude would buy steaks and meat I stole from the store from me and he'd save alot of money cause I'd only charge him half at most well one time it was dead summer in South Carolina Walmart was two miles away I stole two Ribeyes by the time I got back the steaks smelt horrible awful I asked him if he still wanted them I sat there and watched him eat the whole thing raw lol, I got more stories.
 

Lordgoro

IN THE ZONE
I just need a laugh, I'll start off when I was 14 before my big bro died, he was into drugs so he would allways have these tweakers over one of them this old ass homeless dude would buy steaks and meat I stole from the store from me and he'd save alot of money cause I'd only charge him half at most well one time it was dead summer in South Carolina Walmart was two miles away I stole two Ribeyes by the time I got back the steaks smelt horrible awful I asked him if he still wanted them I sat there and watched him eat the whole thing raw lol, I got more stories.
Read my book, crazy ѕhit.. I went fishing, caught NO fish, lost three worms before I got the hook in the water, and caught a fishing pole... My stories are as crazy as they get, and 100 percent true..
 

Lordgoro

IN THE ZONE
supercell said:
I just need a laugh, I'll start off when I was 14 before my big bro died, he was into drugs so he would allways have these tweakers over one of them this old ass homeless dude would buy steaks and meat I stole from the store from me and he'd save alot of money cause I'd only charge him half at most well one time it was dead summer in South Carolina Walmart was two miles away I stole two Ribeyes by the time I got back the steaks smelt horrible awful I asked him if he still wanted them I sat there and watched him eat the whole thing raw lol, I got more stories.
Read my book, crazy ѕhit.. I went fishing, caught NO fish, lost three worms before I got the hook in the water, and caught a fishing pole... My stories are as crazy as they get, and 100 percent true..

Keep reading, youll see..
 

Swo2016

Incels.Net Master
One time I was at my university cafeteria and me and a friend had just dropped acid for the first time and I was with some other who were sober. Right when I was starting to basically lose my mind, a random elderly couple came up to the able and asked us about the final four, a basketball thing that was going on that weekend. They were asking a specific question about a flyer on it because my school was in it, and I started going on a long rant about the tournament and explained how the whole thing worked but never answered their question. One of my friend stopped me before they got too suspicious. Then one of my friends sees some foids he knows so we go over. I go to talk to one of them and just start laughing uncontrollably and my friend goes up to her and whispers “I’m on acid”. Then I started talking about the Vietnam war and joked about flashbacks. This may not sound funny, but if you were there it was hilarious
 

Swo2016

Incels.Net Master
supercell said:
I just need a laugh, I'll start off when I was 14 before my big bro died, he was into drugs so he would allways have these tweakers over one of them this old ass homeless dude would buy steaks and meat I stole from the store from me and he'd save alot of money cause I'd only charge him half at most well one time it was dead summer in South Carolina Walmart was two miles away I stole two Ribeyes by the time I got back the steaks smelt horrible awful I asked him if he still wanted them I sat there and watched him eat the whole thing raw lol, I got more stories.
Read my book, crazy ѕhit.. I went fishing, caught NO fish, lost three worms before I got the hook in the water, and caught a fishing pole... My stories are as crazy as they get, and 100 percent true..
Holy ѕhit no wonder you can’t get foids. They only want fisherman
 

Lordgoro

IN THE ZONE
Lordgoro said:
supercell said:
I just need a laugh, I'll start off when I was 14 before my big bro died, he was into drugs so he would allways have these tweakers over one of them this old ass homeless dude would buy steaks and meat I stole from the store from me and he'd save alot of money cause I'd only charge him half at most well one time it was dead summer in South Carolina Walmart was two miles away I stole two Ribeyes by the time I got back the steaks smelt horrible awful I asked him if he still wanted them I sat there and watched him eat the whole thing raw lol, I got more stories.
Read my book, crazy ѕhit.. I went fishing, caught NO fish, lost three worms before I got the hook in the water, and caught a fishing pole... My stories are as crazy as they get, and 100 percent true..
Holy ѕhit no wonder you can’t get foids. They only want fisherman

My book is about to get a LOT crazier, trust me...
 

supercell

5'4 subhuman
Recently me and 2 frienss were bored and started ding ding ditching it was like two or three in the morning I knew if I just knocked normal no one would answer so first house I went to I beat that door as I was punching I saw the fist marks (I have strong knuckles from playing bloody knuckles all my life) as I'm running to the cut to where my two friends are the door opens I turn around and see a man with a big ass rifle with a beam he ain't playing no games he shot at us we know cause of the beam I allmost got merked
 

supercell

5'4 subhuman
At the group home I left a few months ago I saw a special ed kid get his dick sucked in the hallway I don't think he really wanted to I was his roommate ever since that moment he just talked about how he wasn't gay cause he's the one that got his dick sucked and "a mouth is a mouth"
 

Swo2016

Incels.Net Master
Recently me and 2 frienss were bored and started ding ding ditching it was like two or three in the morning I knew if I just knocked normal no one would answer so first house I went to I beat that door as I was punching I saw the fist marks (I have strong knuckles from playing bloody knuckles all my life) as I'm running to the cut to where my two friends are the door opens I turn around and see a man with a big ass rifle with a beam he ain't playing no games he shot at us we know cause of the beam I allmost got merked
Another funny story that you had to be there to get the full hilariousness of it. So one time me and a friend are at the south end of campus which is all farm fields and nothing pretty much and it’s a solid 20 minute walk to the nearest building and all of the sudden I really need to ѕhit. We’re about halfway there and I give in, and the only building around to try is some office building. So we walk up to the door and ask to use the restroom and too foids walked up looked at each other for a while and said no but it was really awkward and I think they were scared of us.
 

supercell

5'4 subhuman
I once tried to kill myself...but ended up in ER instead with brain damage..
Damn bro I'm sorry. I tried to kill myself with my adderrall prescription once i got a home pass from my group home ( really hard to explain if you have no experience in facility's ) I started hallucinating and called 911 cause I thought people ran in my house and we're torturing my dad. I had to go back to the group home. My dopamine receptors were fuсking fried talk about the worst most empty month you could possibly imagine.
 

supercell

5'4 subhuman
Ik I allready told this but this has to be the funniest moment of my life, when I was in middle sçhool I had a friend down the street we would ding ding ditch slash tires sit in the bushes and throw rocks at cars going down the street, just stupid ѕhit cause we were broke and had no gf. One night we got two fireworks they looked like rockets and we tied them to the side of a mailbox the people that lived at that house were gay. We set them off and the mailbox detaches from the wooden post and slowly propels in the air like a rocket and crashed in the dirt to this day the mailbox still has dents and green marks from the grass on it.
 

Swo2016

Incels.Net Master
Ik I allready told this but this has to be the funniest moment of my life, when I was in middle sçhool I had a friend down the street we would ding ding ditch slash tires sit in the bushes and throw rocks at cars going down the street, just stupid ѕhit cause we were broke and had no gf. One night we got two fireworks they looked like rockets and we tied them to the side of a mailbox the people that lived at that house were gay. We set them off and the mailbox detaches from the wooden post and slowly propels in the air like a rocket and crashed in the dirt to this day the mailbox still has dents and green marks from the grass on it.
Damn you got the pranks. I’ll tell a funny story about a time I got pranked. One time visiting a friends uni and we got high. His roommates went to the cafeteria and we hanging out in his room and they have one of those Alexa things and they start playing music through it. Then they had created a setting for a fake accidental 911 call to make a message and a bunch of ѕhit. We thought it was a joke but they immediately called saying they actually called 911. His desk was covered with all sorts of alcohol bottles and weed and so we cleaned the whole thing off as quick as we could and were freaking out. Then they started playing music and walked in laughing. The best prank that’s been pulled on me by far, but wouldn’t have worked if I was sober
 

supercell

5'4 subhuman
This story is pretty recent too like 3 weeks ago i was at a "party" it was pretty small tho. Only there cause of my two friends. Anyways it's late in the night and I'm drunk af I get my friends permission to play ram ranch on the speakers this was a bad move considering half the people at the party were NIGGAS some of them gang members, let's just say they didn't take kindly to the song only reason I didn't get jumped is cause one of the cooler ones stepped in and said I got a pass.
 
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